Last week, I dealt with people stumbling around like wild banshees.

Students exposed themselves and peed in hallways. Girls were flashing their ta-tas more frequently than in a package of "Girls Gone Wild" tapes.

Oh, and the loud, obnoxious drunks thought they ruled the world because their inhibitions were down and they weren't thinking twice about any of their actions - until the next morning.

Ah, the wonderful memories of spring break 2004.

It all started when two good friends of mine and I boarded the Carnival Triumph and set sail for the Western Caribbean two Saturdays ago. My shoulders were soaking in the intense sun, reggae music was blaring from the pool deck's sound system, everyone was smiling because it was the start of a wonderful vacation, and all of a sudden, the drinks started to flow and people started to get inebriated.

You see, half of our cruise ship consisted of 45-year-olds, and then there were people our age - the 20-somethings who know how to party and like to do it 24 hours a day. As you can imagine, there was an instant conflict between the spring breakers and the old crowd that wanted to relax.

So, as I was saying, the floofy drinks were hastily being swallowed down the thirsty throats of bikini-clad girls and board short-wearing guys, and before we could say, "This is going to be the wildest time ever," a rough estimate of 25 kids jumped into a hot tub for a "good time."

While I watched in awe, some sloppy wench stumbled by and kicked over a 2-foot stack of glasses and beer buckets, proclaiming, "Get this (expletive) out of my way!"

And this was just the first hour of the cruise.

Older people at dinner that night were grumbling, "They'll be done by Monday - we hope."

But boy, were they wrong.

At 6:30 the next morning, our telephone rang inside our cabin and my mom answered it.

"Hello?"

(Pause in conversation.)

"Um, I think you've got the wrong number. No this isn't the information desk, this is room 7350."

A few laughs followed and my mom said to us, "Some woman just said to me, 'This is a real emergency! There is a man outside of my door who pulled out his penis and is pissing all over the hallway!'"

And these are just the mild tales that I can tell you, fellow Spartans, for the crazier things I don't think even can be published.

Drunken students in warm climates seem to be insane, at least that's what I've discovered.

They are rude, loud, totally obnoxious creatures who think they are gods and goddesses when they're loopier than the Corkscrew at Cedar Point.

Yes, they leave me with good stories to tell, but for the most part, all they did was run into me and not say "excuse me" while they were doing it.

So, partyers of the world, as St. Patrick's Day emerges and the green beer is being sloshed over other people's shoes and not your own, try at least to have the common courtesy to say you're sorry.

I know most of you will be wasted, having an amazing Irish day, but a few manners can go a long way - especially when everyone around you is drunk and when a little blip often can turn into a full-fledged fight in bars.

And hey, don't hate me because I bashed your favorite weekend activity - everyone has a way of relaxing and forgetting about school and work, but this spring break was just something completely out of this world.

Lindsey K. Anderson is the State News theater reporter. Share your drunk and crazy spring break memories by e-mailing her at ander848@msu.edu.