Friday, May 3, 2024

Be fearful of Love's 'America'

February 17, 2004

Recently, a friend asked me who I thought would win in a fight: The Distillers' Brody Dalle or Courtney Love. I answered Dalle, and after listening to Love's "America's Sweetheart," I'll stick with my answer.

I have a feeling that, despite her punching Axl Rose, Love is as fake as she claimed in the 1994 hit song "Doll Parts."

Basically, if you have a high opinion of Hole, don't listen to "America's Sweetheart." You're not missing anything and it will probably upset you.

There is no passion involved in this album at all.

Love's voice sounds so terrible on "Sunset Strip" that she should just give up on singing and start dancing naked for money on the Sunset Strip - she's only interested in attention anyway. The rough, edgy voice that made me want to bleach my hair and wear bright red lipstick in middle school now sounds a lot like my 19-year-old cat when she's looking for food in the middle of the night.

If "Life Despite God" were sung by anybody else, it might be OK, but Love stumbles over her own lyrics - well, maybe her own. She did call upon the fame of Christina Aguilera's hit-maker Linda Perry to help her.

Love's album sounds like she was dragged into the studio by her manager, who waved a couple of Armani dresses and some wads of money to get her to open her mouth and sing anything.

Ironically, "All the Drugs" is one of the least painful songs on the album, but after hearing more, I'm guessing that it is 'all the drugs' that has created Love's new album.

"America's Sweetheart" is not lacking in rocking quality. There are some good guitar riffs; there are some good choruses. But after listening to the whole album, I imagine Love will be the next artist sued for sucking, joining the likes of Creed and Limp Bizkit.

So, fudge you, Courtney Love. Not only have you proven that your only interest in recording music is to become famous, but now your voice sounds about as good as mine. But, the difference between you and me is that people don't speculate I arranged to have my husband murdered, I'm a drug addict and just finished recording the worst album of my career.

Suggested listening: While high on pills, throwing bricks at your ex-boyfriend's window in Los Angeles or at a karaoke night with anyone else but Love singing.

If you liked this, you might also like: Other controlling artists who have screwed their voices and belong in prison - such as Axl Rose or Rush Limbaugh.

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