This past weekend I saw, in person, the new watermarked $20 bill for the first time and it creeped me out. It looked like Canadian moolah, and that's bad, considering the last time the government changed our money, it made it look like Monopoly dollars.
Anyway, the new money got me thinking - what songs are the best money songs? As usual, I had an answer, and it went something like this:
The Top Ten - Money songs:
10. Donna Summer, "She Works Hard for the Money" - Summer danced her last dance when McDonald's degraded this song and used it for a commercial, but the disco and '80s queen can still belt out a nice track or two.
9. "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Alimony" - One of the few songs on the list which talks about losing money, this is Al's ode to Billy Idol and the wonderful world of child support, and proves that you need no brain power to become a rich musician: Rhyming "alimony" with "telephony" (not to mention creating a new word) - classic.
8. The Notorious B.I.G. featuring Puff Daddy & Mase, "Mo Money Mo Problems" - because rappers make oodles and oodles of money, it makes sense that Biggie knocked out this superhit in 1997. Funnier yet, he made oodles and oodles more money by releasing a song about money (and problems). Odd, ain't it?
7. Pet Shop Boys, "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)" - The music video is cracked out, but the song is fun. It's your classic tale of a wealthy businessman footing the bill so someone with the brains can run the operation. I smell a sitcom!
6. Puff Daddy & the Family, "It's All About the Benjamins" - When I first saw this song's title, I wondered why anyone would write a track about men named Benjamin. Naturally, my friend Ben was excited, until we later learned it was about money. What was up with that? Why not call it "It's All About the Hundred Dollar Bills?"
5. Pink Floyd, "Money" - I would be foolish not to put this song on the list, seeing as how it is a Pink Floyd classic. Plus, local Floyd tribute artists The Surrogate Band made sure last week that I wouldn't forget this classic track.
4. Dire Straits, "Money for Nothing" - This songs has one of the most kick-butt opening guitar riffs in rock 'n' roll history and it features those wacky "futuristic" computer graphics in the music video where everyone is square-shaped. It's parallelogram-tastic!
3. Barenaked Ladies, "If I Had $1000000" - If I had a million dollars, I wouldn't be writing these Top Ten lists. As a matter of fact, I would buy the rights to every Donna Summer song, including the countdown's No. 10 track. Of course, if I could afford Pink Floyd, then I would reconsider and buy some good music.
2. The Kingsmen, "Money" - If memory serves me, which it usually doesn't, I think "Tiny Toon Adventures" did a short once with Montana Max, with this oldie blasting away in the background. If I just made this cartoon short up, well then, isn't it about time to see this cartoon made?
1. Steve Miller Band, "Take the Money & Run" - There's only so much one can say for this track, so I'll keep it short: It's catchy, a great song to chill or rock to and certainly a classic in any music fan's book.
Kristofer Karol is The State News music reporter. He can be reached at karolkri@msu.edu.
