Lansing - An afternoon spent baking oatmeal cookies brought 56-year-old Rosemary Coscarelli together with her buddy.

The first time they met, her 30-something buddy - who she was paired with through the Lansing Area AIDS Network - said he was going to the network's food pantry for oatmeal cookies.

Weeks later, when they met again, Coscarelli, a Lansing resident, asked if he found those cookies.

When he said no, she replied, "Good, because I have some cookie dough, can I bring it over?"

After his eager response, it didn't take long for the pair to realize they had something in common. "I was really quite surprised at how open my buddy was," she said. "I'm the type of person who can't open up to somebody unless I feel I have their trust. But he wasn't like that."

The buddy's name was not revealed at the request of the Lansing Area AIDS Network.

"I remember one day he called me up from the hospital and told me to come right away to keep him company. So I did," she said. Her buddy died on Christmas morning 2001 with Coscarelli by his side.

Before joining the buddy program, Coscarelli said she didn't know what to expect. "I am very fortunate because the buddy I was paired up with was wonderful," she said, adding she isn't sure if she's ready for another buddy.

"It would be kind of hard on my part because I would have to remember not to compare that person with my last buddy," she said.

Coscarelli, who became a volunteer three years ago, wanted to help the Lansing community by providing emotional support and assistance to people living with HIV or AIDS.

The Lansing network is looking for 20 new buddies for training on Feb. 8 and 15. They have two sessions per year, each training 20 new buddies.

Before getting matched with a buddy, volunteers such as Coscarelli participate in the training program that provides information about the virus, while providing training in ethics and confidentiality issues and becoming a better listener. Volunteers are required to commit to serving two to three hours per week for at least one year.

"The program helped me to realize that I could help someone," Coscarelli said. "It's hard because you need to have an objective viewpoint and be a good listener."

The network looks for volunteers who have similar interests and backgrounds to the patients requesting support, said Patrick Lombardi, director of volunteer services.

"We assign people who can relate to them," he said. "It's really a matter of having enough volunteers so when a case comes up and they ask for a buddy, we have a pool to choose from."

Once the training is complete, buddies are put on a list. If a patient comes along, volunteers are given a description of the person and asked whether they would like to become buddies with them.

Coscarelli didn't receive a call until two years after completing the training. She chose not to take the first buddy she was called for the reason that she wasn't ready for it.

But when they called a second time, she decided to go for it.

"With (Coscarelli), the client was drastically different than herself. But we knew no matter who we assigned her to, she would do well," Lombardi said. "It was a good match because they got along so well. There were no conflicts or controversies."

Lombardi said the buddy program was one of the very first services the network instituted when the agency was started in 1985.

"It has been recognized statewide for its comprehensive approach in preparing volunteers for working with people with HIV," he said.

Kevin Lambrix, a Lansing resident who has been HIV positive for 20 years, has been a client with the network for about five years.

But even though Lambrix is HIV positive, he volunteers as a buddy instead of having one of his own. He said his situation is still better than many others, and he wants to help as much as he can.

"I have never wanted a buddy because I never felt like I needed one. I already have a great emotional support team," said Lambrix, who was buddied for 18 months before his patient passed away.

"It was helpful to me to help someone else who was less fortunate than me. I think I made an impact by just being there," Lambrix said. "It gave me motivation to push more for my personal health to the situation where I can't care for myself."

He said he and his buddy went to the movies and out to dinner, but the major part of being a buddy was "just listening to him and talking."

"I've been a positive outgoing person with a good attitude," Lambrix said. "We have the power within ourselves to make changes to deal with the side effects."

Benita Mehta can be reached at mehtaben@msu.edu.