I can’t give half a point for these reviews. I don’t know exactly why, I just can’t. And the new movie “Serendipity” would have gotten two and a half if I could.

This is a predicament I run into a lot. A movie not worth one higher rating, but not bad enough for the lower one, and I have to decide for those who only bother to read the three popcorn rating.

But I like John Cusack. So I gave it three. Had it been anyone else, it would have fallen to two. That’s because “Serendipity” is a typical movie romance, prepackaged and sugary sweet. Yack.

It’s love without consequences, where none of the decisions matter and everyone can just think about themselves.

But we can’t live like that - so we go to the movies and see Cusack (as Jonathan) and cutie Kate Beckinsale (as Sara) do it for us. We meet the two a few years ago, while they are both shopping for gloves in New York. They try to get the same pair at the same time, and voila! They spend the rest of the day falling in love. But Sara decides they should leave it to fate and they do this stupid names-and-numbers thing on a $5 bill in a book. They have to find the other’s name and digits to prove it’s fate.

Oh, by the way, at the time they’re both involved with other people. How sweet for them to spend a whole day they had planned to shop for their significant other’s presents smooching and making googly eyes.

Well, they both fail to find the numbers shortly after and they give up. But they both still think about each other. In fact, they think about each other so much that they both get engaged to other people. Aww, how romantic.

Then, in an act of pure disregard for anyone but themselves, only days away from marriage they decide to find each other. They both make their way all over New York, scouring the city to find their “soulmate,” who for the last several years they forgot about enough to fall in love with other people.

Of course, your popcorn would have to be laced with a gallon of LSD for you not to know that in the end, they both find each other, ditch their fiancés and spend the rest of their lives together happily ever after. Lost opportunity? Biggest mistake of their lives? No, of course not - there are no consequences for your actions! Do what you want, it will all work out. If only Aesop wrote em’ like that.

It’s also impossible to understand exactly why they fall in love with each other. Who knows? - but they both leave their real relationships for the fairy tale love that movies are made of.

My question, which always goes unanswered in crap like this, is what happens when reality sets in?

So if you’ve just got to see another romantic comedy, here ya go. Enjoy. It’s escapist goofiness that will fill a few hours and numb the head.

And just because I haven’t said it in a while - at least Freddie Prinze Jr. wasn’t in it. Then it would have been a one.