Man About Town
Recent posts
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Cedar Fest leaves black mark on community
I’ve never been ashamed to call myself a Spartan until this week.
Cedar Fest, a revival of a semiannual party that occurred in the ’70s and ’80s, was an embarrassment to our campus and the East Lansing community.
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Looming pick-up artists make bar nights uncomfortable
Don’t hit on my girlfriends.
And please, don’t use a cheesy pickup line like, “I’m doing a survey and wanted to ask you a few questions.
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Cougars on the prowl in E.L.
Beware. There are predators lurking throughout East Lansing.
Cougars on the prowl in E.L.
Beware. There are predators lurking throughout East Lansing.
They appear when you least expect it, in bold animal prints or fur, waving their sharpened claws in the air, hoping to score a fresh piece of meat for the night.
Their choice of hunting grounds: The East Lansing bar scene.
It’s startling to see these “cougars” in action. They stroll about, making eyes at their prey, licking their bloodred lips.
By now, you’ve probably figured out that I’m not talking about wild animals – I’m describing wild older women who think it’s cool to act like they are 21.
When home for spring break, I told my mom – who is in her late 40s – about these “cougars.” She couldn’t help but laugh. My mom said it’s important to have fun, but there comes a time when it’s not appropriate to do the things you did in your 20s.
With age should come the wisdom and desire to be around people who have similar life experiences, she said. Running around a college town is something that didn’t appeal to her.
And frankly, it’s a little disturbing to see someone who is approaching middle age try and fraternize with the men at MSU. I couldn’t picture my mom trying to pick up a guy my age, so what makes these women feel it’s OK?
Ladies, there is a time to cover it up and get with people your own age. And if you answer to “Mommy,” or, God forbid, “Grandma,” that time is now.
Comments
Leder of all men
03/26/08 @ 10:20pm
Ladies if your looking for fun please contact me – I love the older ones.. 248 701 5200
Brian
03/26/08 @ 10:23pm
You’re crazy. You should be tapping as much of these desperate cougars as possible.
Hunter
03/27/08 @ 9:16am
Brian, let me know if you ever need a wingman on one of your cougar hunting excursions.
umm, yeah...
03/27/08 @ 12:34pm
...are you gay, or just stupid? Complaining about older women who want to take advantage of you for a night, and send you on your way the next morning with no strings? Yeah, I’d be so upset. Ever heard of Mrs. Robinson? I think they should change your column to “Panzy About Town”. Thanks, though, just more for the rest of us.
Buck Toothy
03/27/08 @ 8:44pm
When I’m on the road; I bang all the cougars that I can get my grubby little hands on! They want it! They need it! And gosh darnit they deserve it! Start those tail waving in the hair girls!
Smokey
03/28/08 @ 11:16am
I couldn’t agree more with all of you. Bring on the cougars!! As a seasoned cougar hunter I can tell you, that the hunt is much easier and they are much better/more experienced then their young cat counterparts. If you can get over the whole ‘gravity sucks when you age’ thing I think you’ll be pleasantly suprised.
P.S….Kris Turner IS gay! My roomates friend knows him…...
ilikecougarstoo
03/28/08 @ 1:52pm
call me too!
248-434-5508
Johnny Dangerous
03/31/08 @ 9:02am
This was by far the most entertaining short article I have ever read in the State News thanks to the comments. I have to agree with the rest you are just dumb for complaining. Recognize that a Cougar is not only seasoned in the ways of sex, but that if your smart hell you will get all your drinks bought and will probably get an offer to have some meals cooked or an outfit or two if you put the Whip Appeal on her right. You should take part in the hunt now before you are just old game to them son
KTURNERSUCKS
03/31/08 @ 12:34pm
Kris Turner’s columns, week after week, are trite and ill-conceived. This newest one is no exception. State News, remove this fool’s ramblings from your website, he’s only bringing your already bottom-feeding credibility even lower.
Also, anyone notice how the only way he can think about this subject is through his Mother? Reverse-Oedipus complex, maybe?
Erin
03/31/08 @ 12:34pm
how exactly is this any worse than the scores of gross, lecherous old men that every decent looking female who’s graduated from MSU has had to deal with?? i don’t hear them getting called out for acting pervy and looking desperate by hanging out at otherwise youthful bars. don’t you know that most women don’t hit their sexual peak until their mid to late 30s??
IAWTC
04/02/08 @ 9:02am
Yeah, this is pretty trite, Kris. Not to mention pretty misogynistic. Like Erin said, have you seen any of the random 30 year-old guys out at the bars trying to pick up the girls?
You may have a future in writing trash for College Humor. Congrats!
slicknickshadystatefan
04/02/08 @ 1:59pm
I hear tanfan’s wife is one of said cougars.
malibu man
04/02/08 @ 2:23pm
Good Heavens! Kris, while I completely agree that these foolish old hags need to simply act their age, might I also suggest that you stop wasting your time in these bordellos in the first place. Get out to a show or concert and get your mind intoxicated with culture instead of cheap booze. Both you and these wrinkled, sex starved ladies need to get a life!
rcmb
04/02/08 @ 5:08pm
So you are saying you are gay??
Mr. Poon
04/02/08 @ 5:55pm
Hey, Erin, you want to get naked and screw? That being said, I think Mr. Kris Turner likes dong. Cougars, in all of their wretched hideousness with too much fur, jewelry, perfume, and hairspray, certainly know how to toss a guy’s salad. Bring on the cougars, baby.
BigGameHunter
04/03/08 @ 10:00am
Heck Yea – Cougars Rock!! Ive got a couple cougers mounted on my wall – Let the Cougars Run WILD !
steve
04/03/08 @ 3:05pm
HA! they can hunt me all they want!
LANDSHARK
04/08/08 @ 10:16pm
HELLO MY NAME IS THE LANDSHARK AND COUGARS ARE WELCOME WEDNESDAY NIGHTS PROVIDED THEY DRESS FOR HOT SEX. See you all there!
man about town
04/12/08 @ 1:17pm
Can we get rid of this Kris guy because his column is full of BS (to be nice).