Live Blogging: 2008 Academy Awards
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Academy awards come to abrupt end
*11:52
Wait? That’s it?
They literally spit out the announcement of Best Picture. Way to go, “No Country for Old Men.” Way to go, Academy Awards, you kept this thing under 12 hours! Way to go, readers, for putting up with this live blog.
Academy awards come to abrupt end
*7:20 p.m.
Let’s get the show on the road or at least just off the red carpet.
All of the no-namers have made their way into the Kodak Theater and the first of the nominees and A-listers are trickling in.
Heidi Klum, Miley Cyrus and Anne Hathaway all look like enchanting ladies in red tonight. Someone direct them to the fashion winners circle, please.
Color and simple, elegant dresses is what I’m seeing all over this red carpet.
All of the rain and miserable dizzle don’t seem to be making any of this positive fashion energy fade.
There aren’t any male standouts right now in the fashion arena. There are the standard smart tuxedos. I guess I’ll just wait until I see whatever Johnny Depp shows ups dressed in.
Even though his presence is somewhat insignificant, E! News Live host Ryan Seacrest looks downright embarrassing. His suit makes him look more like a popcorn-pushing theater usher than a super-spectacular-circus extravaganza preshow host.
Everyone seems to be in good spirits as they endure the media barrage and line of ass-kissing TV hosts. I’m sorry but seeing Daniel Day-Lewis smiling and being cheerful makes me very uncomfortable.
It’s not even go-time but dust is already collecting on the marathon preshow entertainment – although they don’t allow Old Woman (Joan) Rivers to commentate any longer.
I’m ready to see Oscar.
*8:19
I was sorely mistaken when I thought the show started promptly at 8 p.m. No, it’s another preshow and this time it’s hosted by none other than Regis Philbin, who is sporting a bad spray tan. He might as well look like the Oscar himself. They are both about the same age, right? Octogenerians unite!
*8:23
Even though I gave her fashion props, I would like to know why Miley Cyrus is at the Academy Awards. She’s not even old enough to see two thirds of the nominated films.
While I’m on the topic of youth and questioned attendance, how did Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan sneak in? Can you imagine the hilarity that would ensue if that duo bumped into Ellen Page right now?
*8:34
Finally, show time.
Well, after the classy Yukon, JC Penny and Diet Coke ads, of course.
It only took 15 seconds into the show to mention the writer’s strike. And, yes, Jon Stewart, I will take this as make-up sex.
*8:35
It pains me that there isn’t a single nominee who will resort to acceptance-speech tears so extreme that they produce snot bubbles a la Halle Berry in 2002. No, this is more of a “I have my acceptance speech on a crisp index card written in the finest calligraphy” pool of wannabe winners.
*8:39
Jon Stewart brought a little politics to the party. Think he’ll connect that the presidential front runners could make Democratic ticket “No Country for Old Men?”
*8:43
The category of Achievement in Costume Design kicks us into gear. As always, it’s pretty saturated by period pieces and the winner “Elizabeth: The Golden Age” defines “back in the day.” The designer kept her speech short and sweet. That’s the way I like it.
*8:53
I don’t know if anyone else saw it, but when producers cut to “Ratatouille” winner Brad Bird’s wife in the crowd, the man next to her was very openly oggling her boobs. Is there an awkward rat hand motion I can make right now?
*9:06
The 9 o’clock hour raged in with a slightly manic performance by Amy Adams and less-than-solid comedic attempt by The Rock. The man was presenting the Best Achievement in Visual Effects award, you think they could have provided some computer-assisted talent for him. It would have been more natural.
*9:14
First, I support the winner of Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role – Javier Bardem.
Second, each one of the 8 million people watching this right now just said “Duh!” in unison. Zzzzzzzz.
*9:23
A montage about binoculars and periscopes. A peek at what hell it would be to have a writer-less award show. How fitting, you tricky producers.
*9:38
The Oscar is not there for Cate Blanchett. Boo. Nope, the wickedly chillish Tilda Swinton won for Best Actress in a Supporting Role in all of my future nightmares.
*10:21
Well, the Best Performance by an Actress in a Lead Role category snuck right up on us. If I would’ve lingered at the fridge for 30 seconds longer, I would have missed seeing Marion Cotillard’s life get rocked so so so much. I noticed she didn’t thank anyone – I am truly speechless, too.
Sidenote: I truly think this was the wild card category and I wished I had petitioned harder to get a runner-up award on lock for this. All of the nominees were fantastic, so so so fantastic.
*10:30
Leave it to the Best Picture tribute montage to make me feel inadequate that I haven’t seen about 80 percent of the 80 films that hold the best picture title. Clearly, I need to pay my debts to various video rental establishments and get to work.
*10:50
Nicole Kidman has been pregnant for what seems like years yet her “bump” is barely visible. Either her gestation period is that of an elephant (which is 22 months, as told by my info-in-a-pinch pal Wikipedia) or she just had a hearty meal. Don’t even get me started on her necklace. Chandeliers around the world dim in inferiority.
Off the Kidman-beating path, were there any other songs used in movies this year? Really, Academy, songs from “Enchanted” roll three deep in this category? I don’t see the magic here.
*10:55
Is it just me or does the Oscar stage remind you of the flashy laser background my mom never let me have on picture day?
HOLD UP!
The overwrought song from “Once” won the original song Oscar? I’m glad I’m sitting. Speaking of seating, the writers and performers Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova had to take two cabs, a subway and ask for directions just to get to the stage. This was an upset nobody saw coming, not even the chimps who made the seating arrangements for tonight.
*11:01
I tip my nonexistent hat to Jon Stewart for allowing Marketa Irglova to have her say after she was played off-stage by the open sore-chestra. He got his random act of kindness in for the day, that’s for sure.
*11:04
Here comes the obligatory memorial montage, or as I like to call it, the “I didn’t know they died” part of the show.
*11:33
Diablo Cody won the much-deserved Best Screenplay award. It is clear as crystal that script was worth it’s weight in brilliant one liners, Sunny D and, of course, gold.
Try as I might, I couldn’t take my eyes off the boss pin-up tattoo dominating her right arm.
*11:42
This is what gets me about the Oscars. You sit rotting through several categories with no significance to the layperson and just when you’ve started doing victory laps for one of your Oscar pool picks, the presenter for a category such as Best Performance by a Male in a Leading Role is hot on their heels.
Daniel Day-Lewis should just re-hyphenate his name to Daniel Day-I-Will-Probably-Always-Be-a-Better-Actor-Than-You-Lewis. There will be always be Oscar; he doesn’t even have to wiggle the talent contained in his left foot to get it.
*11:47
The Coen brothers clinch another set of Oscars. They could spare one, right? I need a place to put my collection of scrunchies, bangles and handbands.
*11:52
Wait? That’s it?
They literally spit out the announcement of Best Picture. Way to go, “No Country for Old Men.” Way to go, Academy Awards, you kept this thing under 12 hours! Way to go, readers, for putting up with this live blog.
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