Now, Coldwater, Mich., resident Rita Hemker is sharing her perspective on Toby Hemker’s childhood and her relationship with her son.

Rita Hemker was not originally contacted for the story as Toby Hemker said she has health issues.
Rita Hemker said doctors believe Toby Hemker absorbed a twin while in the womb and was born with both male and female organs, but none of the male organs were visible at birth.

It wasn’t until Toby Hemker had a hysterectomy as a teenager, and doctors operated on Toby, that Rita Hemker said she learned of the presence of internal male organs.

“We had no idea (there were male organs), and I had no idea Toby wanted to be a boy,” Rita Hemker said. “He must have kept that to himself.”

Toby Hemker said that wasn’t the story his mother originally told him, but at this point he is unsure of the truth.

Rita Hemker also said she doesn’t remember the phone conversation in which Toby Hemker told her he was gay, but said any mention of an exorcist was as a joke.

“If I did, it would have been a joke,” she said. “(Toby) says that (I said that), and I laugh.”

Although there are aspects of Toby Hemker’s story they disagree on, both mother and son agree their relationship is very strong.

Toby Hemker described his mom as his best friend and biggest supporter.

“I feel like she’s the best mother a kid could have,” he said. “She’s a really compassionate person, … and she puts her faith in me.”

Toby Hemker is hoping to become the department head of an LBGT resource center on a college campus in the future, and Rita Hemker said the way her son wants to help other people inspires her.

“I’m very proud of my son,” she said. “He has set his whole life to helping other people.”
josh mansour