Our culture must combat injustices
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Cristina Toscano
When I was 16, like many 16-year-old girls throughout history, the only thing I ever wanted to do — besides get my homework done, pass my driver’s test and hang out with friends — was talk to boys.
Something I find to be a natural part of growing up was not tolerated for Medine Memi, a 16-year-old girl from Kahta, a city in Southeastern Turkey.
According to various news sources, Memi’s father was unhappy that his daughter was socializing with friends that happened to be male.
Her punishment? To be buried alive under her family’s chicken coop.
My question is: Why in the world is it culturally acceptable for this girl to deserve to be punished for being a teenage girl? This isn’t the first time when a woman was murdered by her own family for “bringing shame” by doing something most Westerners (or humans in general) would not think twice about. Sadly, many of these crimes are not reported, but that doesn’t diminish their frequency, considering they’re not deemed immoral in the society where they occur.
There’s nothing that proves Memi had violated certain household rules or did more than simply talk to boys. However you look at it, I believe it doesn’t matter because there is not one excuse that can ever justify “honor killing” your own daughter for acting like a teenage girl and talking to boys.
If you’re anything like me, you might be thinking, “If she was only talking to them, I’d be scared to know what would happen to her if she acted more like me.”
Many might automatically jump to the conclusion of specific religions being the primary reason for such injustices. It isn’t always about religion, but rather ignorance. The issue is that the men in some societies possess ultimate power over women, when really it’s the women in these cultures who are the ones fulfilling the family’s honor.
After learning of the horror that is this story, I could not be more thankful for living in a country where I have an inalienable right and freedom to be friends with any person I want: male, female or in-between.
Although some would disagree, we are not perfect. Although it doesn’t compare to the story of Memi, there are a lot of different ways our own culture never ceases attempting to reduce the value of a woman because she isn’t ashamed of something that society sees as taboo. And it’s not just men. Here is the kicker — women easily stigmatize other women as well.
Anything that happens to a girl or woman all over the world will affect us all, as do decisions of women in our own American culture. I’m not talking about women in rap videos, photoshopped pictures of women in magazines or anything of the sort, which is a whole other can of worms.
I’m talking about walking into a female community bathroom and seeing another student’s name written in big, black letters on a dry-erase board indicating that girl is a “huge skank.” There’s obviously a big difference between simply talking to a guy and being a “huge skank,” yet both men and women shrug it off because it’s culturally acceptable and, to some, rather humorous.
As long as we continue to distract ourselves with whether or not Brad and Angelina still are married, such barbaric acts similar to Memi’s will continue to occur if there’s no attempt to change the way we all think and act, not just in America, but worldwide.
Simply being aware and intolerant of these injustices and spreading the word about them can make a significant difference on society’s outlook on how women, and people in general, deserve to be treated.
Whether it’s not tolerating being called a rude name or leaving an abusive relationship, we can make a change in the world by taking responsibility for our valuable existence and taking charge of it. Especially by exhibiting your right to the pursuit of happiness and talking to anybody you like.
Cristina Toscano is a State News columnist and journalism sophomore. Reach her at toscanoc@msu.edu.
Commentary
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kev
(02/11/10 2:37pm)Report
our culture does combat this kind of stuff. That father would be imprisoned for life and hopefully murdered by a real father/brother/husband inside the prison for such a terrible act. It is THEIR culture that must change, which sadly, is extraordinarily hard to do. Something along the lines of a multinational coalation of ‘human’ societies would be needed to end this type of terrible behavior. All I know is if someone buried my girlfriend alive God help him, haha. Cuz I’d likely go gerard butler on his ass and rip him to pieces… Wait a minute…what if we sent gerard butler to Turkey and….nvm…they wouldn’t stand a chance…
Mimi
(02/11/10 3:08pm)Report
You told us of a problem a horrible one at that. Then you state: “As long as we continue to distract ourselves with whether or not Brad and Angelina still are married, such barbaric acts similar to Memi’s will continue to occur if there’s no attempt to change the way we all think and act, not just in America, but worldwide.” WHICH BY THE WAY I FIND Brad and Angelina A BIZARRE COUPLE AND CAN’T STAND THEM TO SAY THE LEAST…My Question is, IF you care so much about these woman why aren’t you giving the readers a way to help them. Why are you using this horror story only to show us how blessed we are to live in America, especially as woman. I want to know what I can do to help young woman like Medine Memi. You break my heart with your story and leave me helpless to a solution. I hope you can add to this article in the near future and show your readers what we can do to help. I know I would like to do something to help, please tell me what I can do to help these young woman?
To Mimi: From Google.
(02/11/10 3:18pm)Report
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=international women rights&aq=f&aqi=g3g-m1&oq=
Arafat
(02/11/10 3:37pm)Report
Islam’s prophet, and Islam’s core tenants encourage treating women as inferior.
http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Quran/010-women-worth-less.htm
To Mimi
(02/11/10 4:43pm)Report
Mimi, it’s common sense. there are a number of different organizations you can join that support women’s rights all over the world. Cristina is pointing out the injustice, and it’s everyone’s job to find our own little ways to make a difference. you’re telling me you can’t think of something to do on your own instead of you wasting your time writing a comment asking cristina “what do i do?!!” do some research and figure it out yourself!
@To MImi From Mimi
(02/11/10 9:26pm)Report
A little grouchy are we? Just thought it would be nice if she would have expanded on her idea. My mind went to Medine Memi, I think what she went through was what got into my mind the most, it is what grabbed my attention. To say something so devasting and not to offer more info. well I thought it was rather superficial. I hope you don’t mind but you happen to remind me of a certain character from Sesame Street, watch it sometime to find out who, it may put you in better spirits. PS. I know you.
@ To Mimi From Google
(02/11/10 9:28pm)Report
Thanks!
Cristina Toscano
(02/11/10 10:50pm)Report
Mimi, I appreciate your comment and I understand where you’re coming from. I only really have a limited amount of words allowed published to really get my point across. If you’d like to get involved or want to know ways to do more to help, that really all depends on what you’re willing to do. Thanks for your concern!
For the full story on Medine Memi, I provided a link (I hope it works): my linkMimi
(02/11/10 11:29pm)Report
Thank you Cristina. This story has weighed on me all day. I keep thinking of this young woman being burned alive for just talking to a male. I was thinking wether she had brothers and then I thought, wouldn’t it be second nature to talk to the opposite gender especially if she had brothers? Such an innocent act would cause such a brutal death. It angers me! It brings me to tears as well. I wonder where her father’s love is? How could he watch his child suffer such a cruel death? So in this culture woman can’t talk to males growing up in a social type of environment, well that is unbelieveable, so much so that I guess these woman are just objects for men, to do with as they please. I am completely disgusted and I have to do something. This story has catapolted me, into doing something to help. It has given me the reason I was looking for, the reason to pray again. Thank you I will get involved. This breaks my heart. I think to myself, how much I have taken my own life for granted. How many freedoms I have been offered as a woman. My husband would risk his life to save mine. I think this story has given me just what I needed to stop and realize all the blessings in my life. I hope it does the same for many other woman and men reading this article. Honestly I was in a silly playful mood until I read this article and I have felt somber all day. It has really made me reflect on this poor woman and I hate to think about how she died, but it is true. I feel my life has more purpose if I can do something to help. Thank you for providing the information, that I will use to start my mission. I deal with woman all the time who wear veils and I have grown in love for them. I think how hot they must be and how hard it must be to breath. I look at them with love and their eyes look back at me and say “thank you”. I just see us all as sisters and brothers and I think life is about taking whatever opportunity that speaks to you & helping wherever you feel lead. Now I have my start, thank you ever so much! God truly works in mysterious ways, if only you knew. God Bless.
Mimi (correction)
(02/11/10 11:51pm)Report
I had heard a similar story sometime ago and the woman was burned alive. I met to say that this poor woman was buried alive, I accidently stated that she was burned alive. Both a horrible deaths.