Nobody is exempt from this, not even me. I thought I was. I thought I was smarter than the average bear, but nobody can escape stupid.

I was just hoping to have a fun night out with friends two weeks ago. It ended with me at Lansing’s Sparrow Hospital getting multiple X-rays and stitches, and many subsequent follow-up visits to doctors, the dentist to get a tooth realigned and learning I might have a rare blood disorder.

I can pretty much say these have not been the best couple of weeks of my life.

You might be wondering if alcohol was involved. I can say with an unequivocal yes, it was involved, and full disclosure, I am 21.

So, what did I do to myself exactly? Well, the best way to explain it is I tried to jump over something near the Jimmy Johns on Grand River Avenue and … well … didn’t make it.

“Were you running from the cops? You got into a fight, right? Did you at least get a sandwich?”

No, imaginary person for this column asking real questions my friends asked me. I just fell.

I wish I had gotten into a fight or had to make a getaway from the cops. It would have been a better story to tell. But no. I’m just really uncoordinated.

I spent a lot of time thinking these last two weeks and several things come to mind.

1. I really need to watch myself as it seems any bump I take will result in me growing a lump the size of my fist.

2. I will not be someone who does parkour.

And 3. I was sort of humbled by what happened. I didn’t experience the biggest injuries like some people I know, but I never thought of myself as that guy who would do something to make everything come to a screeching halt.

Every party is going to have one, and unfortunately on this night, it was me.

It can be pretty tough accepting when you’ve done something incredibly stupid. I know this because I can be a stubborn person at times who doesn’t always like to take the blame when something bad happens. But this one’s on me and I’ve accepted that.

Now there is a reason I am telling this story, not just so I can relive every embarrassing memory from that night.

There are a lot of young people on campus and many new ones just coming to campus to visit for the first time during their Academic Orientation Program.

The majority of these people, when it comes time to settle on campus, will spend a lot of time drinking. Yes, they’re underage, but I believe science and Captain Morgan have proved young people will drink.

Which is why I bring up my little story. I’m doing this as a learning experience for others. As in “Learn not to be stupid like me.”

Nobody should have their night end in the emergency room, either taking a friend there or being there yourself. And it’s too much to ask these freshmen and others not to drink because that’s a winless argument anyway.

This mainly is a plea to be smart when you’re out on the town heading to the bar or going to a house party. Go ahead, have fun, get “turnt up” (I hate myself for writing that,) but just be safe.

Let me be a cautionary tale of when keeping it real goes wrong because at any second your night can turn from being one of the best to one of the worst.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go eat some ground up chicken mush because my teeth haven’t healed yet. Party on.

Michael Koury is the Opinion Editor at The State News and a journalism senior. Reach him at michael.koury@statenews.com.