Throughout college, students explore their sexuality, form their identities and attain personal growth.
One factor that contributes to this growth and discovery is relationships — many times, sexual ones.
While in sexual relationships, people figure out what they enjoy while discovering boundaries of what they are comfortable with.
An open relationship is a non-monogamous relationship where each party may consensually have other sexual or emotional partners. This type of relationship can become common among college students that are exploring their sexuality — oftentimes, each person in the relationship is allowed to have sex with other people.
English senior Allie Hukill was in an open relationship their sophomore year. They stumbled upon a girl on Tinder who already had a boyfriend. Both of them wanted to add a third person to their relationship.
Eventually, after the three went on a date and the couple decided Hukill “made the cut,” they became a throuple, or a three-person couple. Not long after, Hukill realized that being with those two people wasn't the best decision for them.
“It didn’t last very long, as you can imagine,” Hukill said. “It was pretty turbulent the whole time and they were both pretty immature.”
Hukill was just looking for fun and did not expect the situation to become complicated but is ultimately glad they broke up with the couple.
They now have a boyfriend and have been dating for over a year, saying that currently, they do not want a third person in the relationship. Hukill is open to the idea of having sexual relationships with other people because they are comfortable in their sexualities and have confidence in their trust.
According to Hukill, if either of them sleeps with another person, it wouldn't change a lot between the couple.
Mallory Bengry graduated from Michigan State University in 2022 and had their first open relationship experience in college. Even though it was exciting and interesting, they said, it was very difficult to communicate and have trust in their partner.
Though Bengry has had bad experiences with open relationships in the past, they are still in support of them because they think it's valuable to give love and energy to more than one person.
Bengry can see themself in an open relationship in the future because it is a great way to find new experiences with people, they said. They want to make it clear, however, that if students are considering an open relationship, there are some misconceptions that are vital to understand before jumping in.
“In an open relationship, I think that you absolutely still can (cheat) and that when considering an open relationship, I think you should really consider why you want to do it and how it would actually benefit you and your partner,” Bengry said.
Hukill said college students should think about the pros and cons of getting into an open relationship, and should not interject themselves into a relationship and become the third person — exactly what they did a few years ago.
All in all, in Bengry’s eyes, if college students know what they are getting into and are willing to be a member of an open relationship, then they should do it, but talk to their partner about how the relationship is going to work.
“As long as you’re willing to make that effort consistently with someone and respect the boundaries that are set, then I think that it’s a great thing to explore and experience,” Bengry said.
