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Are soulmates real? Students and faculty weigh in

April 3, 2023
A couple standing in front of the Beaumont Tower on Michigan State University Campus, photgraphed on March 22, 2023.
A couple standing in front of the Beaumont Tower on Michigan State University Campus, photgraphed on March 22, 2023.

What is a soulmate? The answer is often different depending on who you ask.

Advertising management sophomore Ben Elkin said it's the person you are destined to be with.

“When you meet someone, you know it’s destined no matter what, you’ll end up with them somehow,” Elkin said.

Even if you do believe in soulmates, it can be hard to believe you'll find yours, journalism senior Daniel Zivian said.

“I can believe that there is someone perfect out there for me, but I'm a little bit skeptical of the idea that that necessarily means I will find her,” Zivian said.

However, human development and family studies junior Jenna Plumer said one secret to finding your soulmate may be being friends before you dive into a relationship.

“I think that a lot of people tend to overlook friendships,” Plumer said. "I think that can cause a really deep connection that a lot of relationships can kind of miss out on if you don't have a friendship first. And I think that you grow in the sense of getting to know the person and the trust that friendship builds.”

If you're looking for a more technical answer to whether soulmates are real, you may want to listen to William Chopik, an associate professor of psychology at Michigan State University. He teaches numerous psychology classes, including one called “Close Relationships Across Lifespan.”

This class in particular, Chopik said, has given him plenty of insights into what a soulmate is.

Holding on to the idea of soulmates isn’t the golden ticket to a perfect relationship, though, Chopik said. He pointed to research that shows a difference between those who believe in soulmate and those who believe in "growth relationships."

“People who believe in soulmates and destiny, they tend to exit relationships sooner than people in growth-oriented relationships,” Chopik said.

Chopik said whether it's destiny, soulmates or something else, all relationships come down to the energy put into them by the partners.

“Relationships take work and that you need to invest time and energy and the fact that they might not always go well,” Chopik said. “I think that's part of what it's like being in a relationship and being human where, you know, even if we're not destined to be together.”

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