Self-love has been a hellish roller coaster for me. I’ve fallen in and out of love with myself too many times to count. But this year, I’m taking the time to recognize how important it is to love myself and all of the unique things about me. So, I wrote a self-love letter appreciating the complexity of myself. 

And I think you should write one, too. 

Katie,

You’re complex. Like, in a good way. 

You always sit on the floor instead of sitting on the furniture. I guess it makes you feel more grounded — more connected to the earth. 

You like to write songs in the candlelight and dance alone in your room. 

You also like to sing. You try your best to be good. 

You keep singing even though you’ve never been cast in a single musical you’ve auditioned for during your four years at Michigan State. And that’s good — you shouldn’t stop singing.

You’ve been told “no” so many times you’d think you’d become numb to the feeling of rejection, but it still hurts a little every time. Still, you push forward with dignity. 

When it’s hard to exist in a room, you have to leave so you can breathe again, and that’s okay because it helps to get you back on track.

You’ve tried to find yourself over and over again. You’ve battled an eating disorder and so much more. You’ve been through many internal battles, but you’ve survived every one of them. You’re really strong.

Most of the time, you can’t find the right words to say unless you write them down first. But you’re a writer, so it makes sense. And you’re a good one. You know that a lot of the stories you’ve written about the community have made an impact, and you should be proud of that.

You’ve been brave in telling your own stories, too. You’ve written your heart and soul out.

You’re a dreamer. Sometimes you wish you weren’t because it’s really hard to maintain optimism. But one day, you’ll be happy you remained a dreamer through it all. You’re an Aquarius, girl. You like to imagine. You’re unique.

You’ve come so far over the years. You stand up for yourself in big and small ways when you feel it’s necessary. A few years ago, you probably wouldn’t have stood up for yourself because you were afraid of the repercussions. You were taught from a young age to be quiet, so you fell silent for a long time. But you now know of the power you possess — the power that was repressed for so long. You look up to so many women who have this same power.

You grew tired of trying to change yourself for other people long ago, so you don’t do it anymore. We don’t do that anymore. We throw out negative thoughts about our body, personality and everything else.

You try to find beauty in the mirror every day. You find a little more each time you look. That’s progress.

You’re loved. So many people forget that simple, essential fact — that you’re loved by so many people. Your family and friends love you to bits, and you’re so grateful for them. 

Yes, people have walked out of your life many times before for unknown reasons, but you’ve grown to understand that those people aren’t worth your time or the pain and heartbreak.

You met your best friend when you were lost in the Auditorium during your first week of college classes. This is a moment you’ll never forget and it reminds you all the time that, even when you’re lost, you can find amazing things. 

You’re single, and you’re proud of it. You don’t care how many Valentine’s Days go by with you being single because you find love and happiness in so many other things. You don’t need a relationship to validate you, and you want everyone to know that. Also, you’d much rather celebrate “Galentine’s Day” or “Palentine’s Day” — which also happens to be your birthday — to celebrate friends, family and yourself.

You have a black cat, and you like the number 13. You were born on Friday the 13th and joke around about how that means you’re unlucky. But you know you’re not. You’re so lucky and worthy, and you wish you could tell your younger self that. 

You hope no one feels like they’re alone in their journey to self-discovery and self-love.

You’ve been on this journey for a while, and you still have a way to go. But, girl, you’ll do great things. You already are doing great things.

Love,

Katie