That should have put my mind at ease from the constant worrying I’ve been doing since my boyfriend announced he would be studying abroad in Spain this semester. But the more I think about it, the more I question whether technology really is the answer to long-distance relationship woes.

My mom, for instance, was in the same situation I find myself in now her senior year of college. Her boyfriend went to Switzerland for the semester, so during the course of their time apart, they wrote letters to each other to keep in touch. They exchanged letters about once a month and always made sure they were less than one page to keep the postage cost low.

The Detroit News article made mention of a couple who regularly make dinner, watch their favorite shows and wake up together, all via Skype. To be honest, I’d rather be in my mom’s position. Not just because I love the idea of romantic, hand-written letters — come on, what girl doesn’t — but because my mom always says she looks back fondly on that semester as one where she met new friends and broadened her horizons. I think if she’d stayed at home talking to her boyfriend on the phone or video chatting him at all hours of the day, it wouldn’t have been the same.

Social networking makes communication fast, easy and convenient, allowing relationships to develop and continue to grow. But because texts, emails and messages are so easy to send, technology can create arguments just as easily as it can create sparks. And because tone cannot easily be conveyed through text, arguments can escalate more quickly.

Thirty years ago, handwritten letters had to be carefully constructed to include only the most important and interesting information. But these days, any combination of boring, trivial and even harmful words can be spewed off without a second thought. Because people don’t need to take the time to choose their words carefully, they are more likely to say hurtful things in the heat of an argument because they think they can easily take them back.

Being in a long-distance relationship also means couples are going to meet new people and have new experiences while they’re apart, and it’s easy for couples to doubt each other when they can’t see what the other is doing. I feel, especially with the introduction of Facebook, that trust issues could develop when members of a couple see Facebook wall postings and pictures by people they don’t recognize or have never heard of.

Although I’m intimidated by the eight-month gap in my relationship that looms ahead of me, I believe that long-distance relationships have the potential to be good for a couple, especially college students, because students need time apart to figure out who they are as individuals. Being in a long-distance relationship could be a liberating experience and could give people the opportunity to try new things they may not try if they spent all day waiting by the phone.

Now, I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression when I say “try new things.” I’m not talking about flirting with guys or keeping secrets from my boyfriend. I fully intend on our relationship surviving the distance. I’m talking about having time to delve into new experiences, like my internship at The State News, or taking the time to make friends with my co-workers, classmates and neighbors.

Though I admit that we’ll probably end up chatting on Facebook and Skyping more often than we should, I’m not going to let technology take away from my boyfriend’s experience, or mine.
I’m not going to let this semester be the despairing experience I envisioned it as a few months ago. Instead, I look forward to this semester as one where I’ll take advantage of the time I have to learn more about myself and grow as a person.

And hopefully we’ll write each other a few hand-written letters that we’ll keep for years, just like the ones my mom has in her trunk in the attic.

Katie Harrington is a State News staff writer. Reach her at harri878@msu.edu.