— BC

Dear BC,

Good question, wrong percentage, you lose! How’s that for the lowdown on the down low! Actually, the majority of surveys I have read or have done put the percentage at around 80-85 percent of women who have masturbated or continue to do it now. This is just another one of the many misperceptions that seem to dominate the landscape of sexual health and awareness. So because of your question and the fact that Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, let me give you just 10 of my favorite myths, misperceptions, inaccuracies and just dumb beliefs about sexual health and activity:

1. All MSU students are sexually active and most have had two or more partners in the last year. This is the most heard and most inaccurate. According to the 2008 National College Health Assessment survey, 76.1 percent of MSU students reported being sexually active in the last year at least once. Of those, 50.8 percent reported only having one partner. That means 11,000 students reported not being sexually active, and another 23,000 chose to be monogamous while being sexually active.

2. Oral contraceptives will protect you against sexually transmitted infections, or STIs. Wrong. They are very effective at preventing SCIs (sexually created infants) but do little to nothing to protect you against the infections and critters that can possibly be transmitted when you are sexually active with another individual.

3. Women’s nipples are like radio dials — just turn them left or right and you will turn her on. Not that easy disc jockey. As a primary erogenous zone it rates, but as an iPod Touch, you need more than just rotate it left or right. Keep you hands off the dials and learn how to caress.

4. Kissing is just foreplay and not worth the time. Wrong, backstreet Casanova. Kissing is a lost art. It is a form of sensuous communication and an act of sexuality that can deliver more satisfaction and punch than intercourse. Stop going from mouth to groin in 2.5 seconds and spend some time learning to suck face with grace!

5. Men can only orgasm once with each ejaculation. Sorry, one-time Charlie, not true! Having one orgasm per ejaculation is a learned response and can be unlearned. If you want to learn more there is a great book called “The Multi-Orgasmic Man” that will teach you.

6. The clitoris is easy to locate and operate. Not true, Waldo. Take time to get to know your partner’s body and learn what she likes when she is touched. The clit is not like the “A” button on the Nintendo Wii remote. You can’t keep pressing it and expect the gun to fire. You need to take instruction from her and remember to keep your nails trimmed and manicured.

7. Sex is better with alcohol. Yes, and driving blindfolded also is safer. I know the social lubricant argument, but frankly I don’t care what you drink or take to change your present reality, sex is always better when it is honest, consenting, sober and real.

8. For sex to be good, it must end in orgasm. This one has caused so many people to head to therapy. First of all, not everyone wants to, or can, orgasm. Second, if orgasm is your benchmark for satisfaction then you’re missing the point of why most people engage in sex: pleasure. The reason for sex, other than procreation is for pleasure. Mutual pleasure is, and should be, the goal. Orgasm is only one form of pleasure.

9. Looking hot is the key to turning someone on. Maybe true for the rich and shallow, but in reality, the two senses that are most important when considering what turn’s someone on or off is smell and touch. The way someone smells and touches you is rated much more highly when it comes to “turn-ons” and “turn-offs” than any visual stimuli.

10. Women rate vaginal intercourse as the most pleasurable form of sexual expression. Sorry to burst your condom, but most women rate vaginal intercourse as one of the least pleasurable forms of sexual expression. Oral sex performed on them by a loving partner usually rates highest on the pleasure scale.

I could go on, but let me finish with this. A truly sexually healthy individual is one who educates himself or herself, communicates with his or her partner and is at relative peace with his or her values, beliefs and body. You don’t need to be sexually active to have a healthy sexual identity. You just need to be you. Peace, love dove.

— Dr. D.

Dennis Martell, Ph.D., is a coordinator of Olin Health Center education. E-mail him your questions at dennis.martell@ht.msu.edu.