What is the truth about cleanse diets, especially the so-called “Master Cleanse” diet she is doing?

—AC

Dear AC,

Oh, it is so good to get back to a good “cleansing” question after dealing with all those “heavy” meaning-of-life questions lately.

Sometimes you just need a question about colons, enemas and pooping.

If you didn’t know it by now, I love scatological questions because if there is one thing this society has a hang-up about, it is about the process of elimination. Besides, this type of question is just “ripe” for puns.

So you want the straight poop on cleaning the colon of those nasty toxins and feces that we both take in and make:

There are several cleanse diets out there that claim to rid the body of toxins. Let me just focus on the one you reference and one of the more popular ones, the lemonade diet, or the Master Cleanse diet, which it is commonly referred to.

It is a combination of water, lemon juice (or lime), maple syrup and cayenne pepper.

Taken over several days, along with salt water and teas, it’s supposed to clean out that “cesspool” we call a colon.

The claim is that the acid in lemon or lime juice is supposed to help break down toxins and cleanse the body.

What we fail to consider is that stomach acid is almost 10 times stronger than the acid in lemon or lime juice. So, if you are hoping that this additional acidity will help cleanse, because it breaks down toxins — well, that’s just a lot of “hot air.”

The mixture itself may taste good (yuck!) especially with the sugar that is in the maple syrup and the cayenne pepper that gives it a bite, but cleanse? That is dubious at most.

The fact is that this type of “cleansing diet” is no more than a very low-calorie diet in disguise that can have some serious side affects.

Bottom line: The body does not need to detoxify itself from food.

The body actually does a good job of detoxifying itself. The food we consume goes to the stomach where, through action of the natural acids, it is broken down.

This slurry of assorted goodies is then moved into the small intestine where the acid gets neutralized and the viable nutrients are absorbed.

What is left over then moves into the colon, where the water is extracted and absorbed and what remains is then formed into what we commonly call a stool, not to be confused with what we sometimes sit on.

How often you eliminate this stool depends on many factors, but the fact is that the colon can accommodate quite a bit.

Some people “go” once a week and others several times a day.

The kidneys and the liver are the true natural eliminators of toxins and any other wastes.

These leave the body via the wonderful process of urination, or as we say in the U.P., “making yellow snow.”

Although some people claim to feel lighter and more refreshed after doing one of these detox diets, the science concerning the benefits of “cleanse” dieting is limited and unconvincing.

But the possible side effects have been documented and are real.

In some cases, a person on one of these “cleansing diets” might run the risk of actually starving and/or dehydrating themselves.

If you participate in long-term “cleansing” you could possibly throw off your electrolyte balance which could lead to — in the worst case scenario – heart failure.

Bottom line: Before she throws her hard-earned money down the toilet, tell your roommate to take a few moments to understand how her body works.

We live in a society where people will try anything to make themselves feel better, lighter, fitter, sharper and more appealing — but they won’t take the time to truly understand the science of how people exist.

My advice is to eat when you’re hungry, drink when you’re thirsty, breathe deeply when you need to and poop freely on a regular basis.

If you do this, all things will come out well in the end. (Sorry, I could not resist that last one).

Carpe Nutrimens!

Peace love dove,

—Dr. D.

Dennis Martell, Ph.D., is a coordinator of Olin Health Center education. E-mail him your questions at dennis.martell@ht.msu.edu.