BD

Dear BD,

So, what did you think of Cancun? Can you remember what you were thinking when you arrived? How about what you were thinking when you ate or maybe when you drank? Did you do anything else while you were down there that you now believe was “wrong” because you were not “thinking?”

During the last 15 years or so, I have responded to hundreds of men who have asked the very question you now pose. It is usually phrased in the same manner and most of the time followed by the same refrain, “I know it was wrong, but I wasn’t thinking.”

I have generally been reserved in my comments as to how I feel about such indiscretions and the subsequent hindsight rationalizations that seem to plague some men (and women) when they go on spring break. Today, I feel the need to say what I am “thinking.”

Dude, it is impossible not to think. You were thinking. What you are truly saying is your thinking had nothing to do with logical action. It had more to do with getting some action.

Did you truly not think about protection? If so, then maybe I need to ask you if you were thinking about consent before you began having intercourse, or maybe if you were thinking about how to prevent a pregnancy before you were ready to ejaculate, or maybe I should ask if you were thinking about how she would feel about possibly contracting a disease from you. If you think maybe I’m being a bit harsh with you, well maybe it’s because I just “wasn’t thinking” when I wrote this.

The fact is, we generally all know what to do in these situations — use protection. What stops us is we usually let our egos, emotions and lack of connection to others alter the way we think at the very moment that we need to make a decision based on what we know.

The fact is, you knew what to do. You simply chose to do something else. The logical outcome of the decision to not use protection is that the possibility of unwanted consequences increases.

That leads you to your present thinking pattern. Having said that, let me now respond to the question you are presently thinking about.

One of the more important things to know about sexually transmitted infections (not diseases) is that the less potential exposure to an infection, the less likely you are to contract it. If it was a one-time encounter, the possibility you could contract an STI is there but the probability isn’t as likely.

The most common STIs in the college population — and ones you may consider testing for — are chlamydia/gonorrhea and HPV/genital warts. To have a chlamydia/gonorrhea test, you need to wait two weeks from exposure or have symptoms to have an accurate test.

Women can have an HPV test during their annual pap smear, although there is no test for men. You can have the chlamydia/gonorrhea test done at Olin Health Center, or if you prefer to go outside of MSU, it can be done at Planned Parenthood or Ingham County Health Department.

If this event occurred within the last 72 hours and you didn’t use a method to prevent pregnancy, and you know who your partner was, then you might consider visiting your local pharmacy for emergency contraception, or EC. It works to prevent a pregnancy after unprotected sex but before conception occurs.

If you find yourself in a position where you’re diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection, it is critical to let your partner (or former partner) know so he or she can be tested as well. Both partners need to be treated to be sure an STI isn’t passed back and forth. If you have additional questions about testing or STIs, visit us at Olin Health Center.

Doing the right thing isn’t always easy. I understand that. I have made plenty of wrong choices in my life while consciously understanding what the right choice was.

The key to doing what you know is right is knowing who you truly are, owning and managing your emotions, and remembering we are all connected to each other — what we do to one affects us all. Peace, love dove.

Dr. D.

Dennis Martell, Ph.D., is a coordinator of Olin Health Education and writes a weekly health column for The State News. E-mail him your questions at dennis.martell@ht.msu.edu.