Hang on folks, I’m pulling the emergency break. It’s now safe for everyone to jump off the Detroit Lions bandwagon — don’t crowd, one at a time will do. To those of you who truly believe the Lions will be even half-way mediocre this year and wish to stay on the bandwagon, don’t worry, I’ll drop kick you off — because that’s the kind of guy I am.
With their 56-21 drubbing by the Philadelphia Eagles and a loss finally in the column, all is right with the world as the Lions played terrible once again. With the convincing loss, the talk of a 10-win prediction or a playoff appearance should finally be put to rest.
But really, are you surprised? The Lions barely beat the Oakland Raiders (the game was closer than the 36-21 final score) in a game where Raiders kicker Sebastian Janikowski missed two field goals. It took them until overtime to beat the Minnesota Vikings who were led by Tarvaris Jackson’s four interceptions.
Even after wins against other inept teams, for some reason (perhaps Jon Kitna’s concussion was more severe then we were led to believe) the Lions and their desperate fans were praising the same franchise that hasn’t won a championship since 1957 and haven’t had a winning season since 2000.
The difference between the two wins and the humorous loss (or humiliating, depending on your feelings toward the team) on Sunday was a simple case of talent. The Raiders won three games last year, while the Vikings have a young quarterback and no wide receivers. The Eagles, on the other hand, have one of the best quarterback, running back tandems in the league, as well as a coach who has won three NFC championships. Oakland’s Lane Kiffin is still a tike, while Minnesota head coach Brad Childress looks more like a stock broker than a football coach.
The Lions are an almost slightly below average NFL team, which in complete honesty is a huge step up from their cellar dweller years. Their offense is off the charts — by the way, was I the only one who had an eerie feeling that after Calvin Johnson was injured in the first half, Matt Millen ordered tickets to check out California wide receiver Deshaun Jackson in preparation for the 2008 draft? — but their defense is downright terrible.
Ernie Sims, Shaun Rogers and Cory Redding are the only defensive players who deserve to be on an NFL roster, while the rest of their defense is a complete joke. Having Stanley Wilson and Fernando Bryant as starting cornerbacks is not acceptable for fans and therefore makes me glad that I don’t waste my Sundays rooting for them.
Now don’t get me wrong, I watch the Lions, in fact I thought it was great when Kevin Jones scored to complete his comeback, and Roy Williams helped me win my fantasy football game. I root against the Lions for the same reasons everybody should: It’s not sad anymore, it’s down right comical. They throw the ball 40 times a game as if they were an arena league team, Matt Millen is a moron, William Clay Ford is just as big of a moron and the franchise as a whole is just plain stupid. My most sincere hope is that the Lions get contracted so fans don’t have to watch the team lose every Sunday nor waste money on tickets and apparel for such a sorry franchise.
It is the beginning of the end for the Lions who face the Bears twice in the next four games, as well as the Redskins and Buccaneers. Their 2-0 start got them national media attention for something other than losing and Millen’s stupidity, but both the team and fans will be the butt of jokes soon enough.
Hey, I’m just warning you. It’s up to you to get out while you can.
Cash Kruth can be reached at kruthcas@msu.edu.
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