I'm blaming Barry Bonds for my inability to log onto ESPN.com and not be pissed off.

His sixth National League MVP award notwithstanding - though I could devote an entire newspaper to why I think Bonds should never be mentioned in the same breath as Willie Mays - I'm furious for another reason.

Acronyms.

Specifically, two of them - "THG" and "BALCO." Until about a month ago, I thought THG was what gave the left-handed cigarette its punch and BALCO was the brave, cartoon sled dog voiced by Michael J. Fox.

But now, thanks to Barry Bonds and the Oakland Raiders, both of these acronyms are plastered across my formerly favorite Web site. And accordingly, tetrahydrogestrinone (THG) and the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative (BALCO) are now in my vocabulary.

And for those of you who might have been trying to get a good look at a T-bone without taking the butcher's word for it, let's review. THG, a designer steroid, was reported to be found in seven athletes - three Olympians and four members of the Oakland Raiders. U.S. Olympic testing officials blamed BALCO - who has ties to those seven athletes - for distributing the drug. Barry Bonds fits into the equation because one of his trainers, Greg Anderson, was found with information regarding the use of performance-enhancing drugs during a raid on his California home.

Factor into the equation that Barry Bonds has been forced to deny using steroids for seasons and we have a full-on drug conspiracy theory that would make Oliver Stone drop a load in his Dockers.

And since the hitters have taken baseball from the pitchers, home runs are more commonplace than a fat umpire. Players are doubling their career home run totals in one season thanks to off-season "strength regimens." Baseball and sports in general now have a shiny black eye, courtesy of THG.

And just think, THG is considered old-school. It only seems logical that the newest designer steroid undetectable to the urine test already has arrived. Only an idiot would use THG now; it's a great way to have your career ruined faster than you can say, "Jose Canseco."

So while the populace has two new acronyms and possibly seven unemployed athletes to consider, I beg you to please consider something else - the idiocy of steroid users.

Shame on the four Oakland Raiders, especially. If those tests are legitimate, shame on them in waves for becoming the poster children of tainted sports and for forgetting the legacy of a fallen teammate.

I wonder if those four reported users of THG remember Lyle Alzado. The former Raiders, Broncos and Browns defensive end died at age 42 from brain cancer. He blamed two decades worth of anabolic steroids for his death after going public with his drug history in his final days.

Maybe I'm naíve. I've watched "Playmakers" on the greatest channel ever, and I even paid attention to the "very special episode" of "21 Jump Street" that dealt with steroid users. I can understand how it seems like the only option to tourniquet a dwindling career and I can even understand how it seems like the only way to prove your worth during the option year of a contract.

But I can't understand the justification for abusing it. In as straightforward a manner as possible and shed of all pretenses, it's cheating. Cork in a bat is one thing, toxins running in your bloodstream for the sake of a 20-point increase in batting average is another.

To those who look the other way, shame on you, too. I'm not judge, jury and executioner, but if you think Bonds was completely innocent of his trainer's situation, I think you're the na