Before we discuss sports today, we'll discuss sports etiquette, as it seems a few of you out there need a nonalcoholic refresher on how not to be that guy.
As I sought refuge inside my sports haven, a local sports pub named Reno's, for a weekend of marquee matchups, I couldn't stomach one of those tasty Reno's Hat Trick sandwiches because I couldn't digest the discussion among some drunken Spartans.
I'll give credit to beermakers, though. Hearing fellow Spartans scream sheer nonsense at surrounding big-screen televisions during the MSU-Purdue contest gave me a headache the likes of keg-stand-sized magnitude.
Apparently, that guy believed Bobby Williams called MSU's plays against the Boilermakers. Besides the fact that Williams didn't call his own plays when he was a member of the program, I can't believe anyone in a drunken stupor could imagine seeing him on the sidelines.
"Why Bobby?" he screamed. "No Bobby!"
No guy! How can you be among fellow Spartans in Spartan Country cheering for the Green-and-Whiters and bring as much sports knowledge to your table as the other guy who keeps forgetting to select his trivia answers.
Don't be that guy.
Anyhoo, here's Monday's mixed bag of bite-sized sports snacks for the football fan's soul from my weekend Big Ten notebook.
Apparently, Minnesota decided to let Iowa run away with a 45-21 victory as well as parts of the Metrodome.
Forget going through the uprights when the uprights can go through stadium exits.
Much of the overflow crowd of 65,184 housed inside the Minneapolis dome seized the golden goal posts in postgame celebrations.
Such rowdy activity is warranted, though, if the game is held at home. Hawkeye fans not only stole 10,000-lake pride, but ran off with the football furniture.
Hats off, though, to Brad Banks and crew for their share of their first Big Ten Title in a dozen years.
But shuck the corn, Golden Gopher faithful, next time in Kinnick Stadium. Peel then steal.
You have to be going nuts, Buckeye fans. You have to be chewing through your finger tips following a pair of nail-biters thanks to Purdue and Illinois.
The gnawing ended Saturday when Illinois quarterback Jon Beutjer's final pass was batted down at the line of scrimmage in extra time.
With hated foe Michigan on the docket, it'll take more than overcoming a Maurice Clarett shoulder stinger to continue a perfect bid for the Fiesta Bowl.
Those of you in Columbus surely remember the 1995 and 1996 seasons when the Wolverines black-eyed perfect Buckeye records.
Spare me!
The 2000 Flushes Toilet Bowl would be fitting to cap off this season, but this team couldn't hold off Purdue or the referees on Saturday.
No longer can 100 guys embarrass this school in a national spotlight after Saturday. We'll have to wait until March, when hundreds of Staters will celebrate in Cedar Village, as the basketball team polishes off the tarnished reputation of the university.
Or maybe we shouldn't get caught up in preseason hype. Where there's great expectations, there's fire.
At least junior wide receiver Charles Rogers punched in to put on one last strong performance - eight grabs for 161 and two touchdowns - in what should be his last home game in East Lansing.
Unlike NBDL dropout Marcus Taylor, Chuck is ready for the next level. Catch your last glimpse of the green-and-white Rogers on Saturday in Happy Valley. His next route should be to declare his NFL eligibility.
All hope isn't lost next year. Freshman tailback David Richard is the real deal. I foresee the 6-2, 230-pounder putting the team on his massive shoulders.
And for once, the program won't be on fumes in the post-"Diesel" era.
And by then, that guy might know that Williams is no longer on the sidelines.
Kevin Hardy, State News associate sports editor, can be reached at hardykev@msu.edu.
