This is for all the people who won’t stand in line to see the teen comedy “The New Guy,” starring DJ Qualls (“Road Trip”). This is for all those who haven’t even heard of the film, but have seen the trailer dozens of times during commercial breaks on MTV.

These tips are for all of you. So listen carefully.

First of all, assume the worst. Don’t anticipate anything bigger than choppy, censored jokes that could be funny, if only the filmmakers dared to throw out the PG-13 rating and head for what America loves. That being the big consonant “R” that brings teen comedies nothing short of sex with pies.

Second, desperately try to answer the question of why Ed Decter - who co-wrote the original gross-out comedy, 1998’s “There’s Something About Mary” - took an awkward, annoying supporting character from “Road Trip” and turned him into an awkward, annoying hero.

Third, once seated in the theater, expect to be completely surrounded by 16-year-olds with aqua-colored visors cocked slightly to the right who have their parents’ car for the night.

And finally, after all the assumptions and expectations are made, expect to be dead wrong on most, aside from the one about the visors.

“The New Guy,” which also stars Eliza Dushku (“Bring It On”) and Eddie Griffin (“Undercover Brother”), hit theaters last Friday and hit me with a surprise.

I went to see this film expecting everything I listed above