What did the drummer get on his final exam? Drool.

How do you know a drummer is at your front door? The knocking rhythm speeds up and he’s always late.

I’ve heard them all.

Taken with a grain of salt, the drummer in a band usually serves as the whipping boy, someone to rip on for anything and everything.

Whether it be an unproductive practice or a vocalist having trouble writing a harmony - there’s always a reason to rip on the drummer.

Drummers across the country are a close-knit family in that we all respect each other and understand the commitment that comes with being a successful percussionist.

But there are some drummers out there who have changed the joking reputation for the modern drummer.

I think I’ve made it quite apparent through some of my other columns that Dave Grohl is one of my idols.

The guy wrote all of the Foo Fighters’ songs and performed every instrument on its debut record.

And let’s not forget Carter Beuford.

That guy is the only reason I listen to the Dave Matthews Band. That guy can sing, play the drums, cook breakfast and still have time to wink at all the ladies without missing a beat.

Perhaps it’s the fact that percussionists are usually the only ones sitting down, and it doesn’t do them much justice to be facing the crowd behind a big set.

If the drummer would either be at the front of the audience or have his drum set turned around, people could see that it takes tremendous hand-eye coordination to force every limb to utilize a different rhythm.

But maybe it’s just the jealousy of the rest of the band.

Because, after all, drummers get all the chicks - well, except me (boo hoo).

Should I remind you of Tommy Lee?

Sure, the guy’s a tool, but let’s just say he’s had the luck with the ladies since he started drumming.

What would Rush have been without Neil Pert? What would science rockers Don Caballero be without the octopus body of Damon Che?

And what about Van Halen?

Sure, Eddie Van Halen kind of stole the show, but he had the advantage of his last name in the band.

Remember the chops of his brother Alex? The introduction of “Hot For Teacher” from the album “1984” still remains, in my opinion, as one of the greatest beginnings of a rock song.

But one drummer who thankfully never went unnoticed was the great John Bonham of Led Zeppelin.

A master at his instrument, he was years ahead of his time and continues to be recognized as one of the best (if not the best).

And then there’s the issue of money.

Drummers have to worry about buying new drum heads, cymbals, cymbal washers, sticks, stands and various minor additions to round out our sets almost at a weekly rate.

Guitarists? Maybe an occasional string or new chord.

Vocalists? All they need to bring is their jackets and their mojo.

Hopefully you took this with a grain of salt, because I’d hate to offend any possible bandmates in the future - but just know that without us, you’re nothing.

Dan Julian, State News music reporter, otherwise known as the Danimal, can be reached at julianda@msu.edu.