E-mail savvy computer nerds, Webmasters and people who have read “E-mail for Dummies” can relate to one another when faced with one problem-filled component of e-mail - the subject line.

Usually, a short phrase or word to describe the overall mood of a message gave Web surfers an opportunity to say, well, the subject of the e-mail. But with the popularity of sending e-mail messages, subject lines have become unoriginal, repetitive and e-credibly stupid.

Subject lines have become one-liners for onliners.

I believe software and Web site companies should eliminate the subject line feature from the latest version of their e-mail software. It takes a sender more time to write a three-word subject line than an 11KB e-mail. And, by not putting together a clever collection of consonants and vowels, I feel I failed the recipient and hope he or she doesn’t receive my message believing I’m either lazy, unable to write creatively or feel he or she isn’t worth time out of my day for a subject line.

But until Netscape escapes e-mail subject lines or Microsoft goes hard on them, writers will try their hand at the creative e-bility of subject line writing. Thus, for now, I suggest cyber society avoid a few of the more common subject lines.

“Hello” is only better than writing “Hey.” Writing a greeting is wasteful because you already have the recipient’s attention. Besides, saving this one for the start of the e-mail is a great way to beat writer’s block.

“Wazzzup.” Well, I believe Budweiser has coined this phrase, “true, true.” The idea of having the sender stick his or her tongue out while writing the e-mail may serve as this line’s only purpose, but honestly, I enjoy seeing this on the subject line as much as I did hearing someone say the word “not” in the early 1990s, not.

“Please read,” is by far the most useless subject line. Who wants to receive e-mail to not read it? I would be more impressed with a “please don’t read” e-mail. This may be the last creative subject line. Cyber geeks have been allowed to transport electronic messages, files, cards and viruses, but not one has explored deep enough into subject lines to create the “please don’t read” e-mail - it couldn’t be far from the idea of junk mail or e-mails with the subject line of “ASMSU message.”

“You’ve won 20 bucks.” Well, I’m a poor college student so just send the money and I’ll reply to your generous gift with a “thank you” on the subject line of an e-mail that will explain my appreciation for helping out with Friday’s pizza.

“You’re going to love this.” Let me open the attachment and wait for me to decide, then I may or may not reply with an e-mail that has a subject line of “I loved that.”

“IMPORTANT” also contradicts the intent of the message. If the e-mail is so important please don’t waste my time forcing me to read the subject line.

I think by now every keyboard puncher can understand how pointless subject lines have become. I mean, imagine if other methods of communication included subject lines.

I can only imagine sending and receiving mail with subject lines through the U.S. Postal Service.

I’m sure my telephone company would enjoy sending my phone bills with a subject line of “Ouch,” or “You can only blame yourself or your roommate,” and “Remember, 900-numbers cost $$$.”

Mail from CD clubs would read, “We found you, even after three moves!” or “This CD only costs $50, please open,” and “Buy one CD that you’ve heard of and we’ll send you 10 that you haven’t listened to for good reasons.”

So next time you’re keyboard punching, save time and ignore an e-mail subject. And if you’re too stubborn to figure out how to send e-mail without them, you can learn more e-mail information from both the first and second editions of “E-mail for Dummies” - I mean who doesn’t want to read more than 300 pages on the concept of “electronic messaging”?

Kevin Hardy, State News opinion editor, can be reached at hardykev@msu.edu. He will respond to e-mail without subjects.