Genomics and molecular genetics junior Zoe Haden was in her apartment Monday evening when a friend called, warning her of the then-ongoing mass shooting on Michigan State University’s campus. The feeling wasn’t unfamiliar. In Nov. 2021, she received a similar call about her younger sister’s high school in Oxford, Michigan.

“Both times felt really similar,” Haden said. “Because, both times I was safe, but I knew people who weren't, and I just felt completely out of control.”

Haden spent the ensuing hours listening to the police scanner, “terrified” by various unverified reports of shots-fired, bomb-threats, and locations of the shooter or shooters.

She knew it was unreliable, that it was mostly untrue, but “at the time, I just needed some sense of control, so I had to listen,” Haden said.

Since Oxford, Haden and her sister attempted to regain a sense of agency by getting involved with their local March For Our Lives chapter – a national gun-violence activism organization founded by survivors of the 2018 school shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. Haden has since started MSU’s chapter of the organization, Spartan Against Gun Violence.

On how the Oxford community has moved on from its mass shooting, if there’s a timeline for when normalcy will resume, Haden said, “it’s impossible honestly to truly heal from something like this.”

“No matter how much the administration and everyone around you will say that ‘we just need time and we as a community will come together and heal,’ you’re forever changed after something like this happens,” Haden said. “After Oxford, I was very shaken, obviously. Knowing people that did die, and also knowing that my sister could have easily been one of them, was incredibly difficult to process and I honestly don't think I have fully processed it. I don't think any of my family has fully processed it either.”

When she heard of the shooting at Oxford, Haden says she froze in complete shock. But this time, she “instantly understood how serious the situation was, and contacted everyone that (she) knew could possibly be on campus.”

“I know a lot of other Oxford students who go to MSU,” Haden said. “I know a girl who was shot in Oxford, who was then in a lockdown last night. She was terrified. It's just insane. I can't imagine how re-triggering and traumatizing it is for them.”

Despite the seemingly inescapable weight the shooting will have on MSU, Haden said a simple step towards healing is being kind to those around you.

“Just be kind to everybody,” Haden said. “You don't know what anyone's going through, even if they didn't experience something as traumatizing as you did, it can affect them in different ways. Just show kindness to everyone in your community, because we all need that right now.”

Haden doesn’t see herself or many of her peers returning to classes anytime soon. She says that her sister is one of the many Oxford students who are completing their high school education online, unable to revisit the site of the shooting.

“A lot of people didn't go back, most people are back, but a lot of people actually went online or do more online than in person,” Haden said. “And I completely understand why, I don't want to go back, so I can't even imagine witnessing something and then going back.”