It often seems we put far too much effect into improving our appearance to please others.

We want to look good for the people we are attracted to, in order to make a good impression on our peers, to please our parents and to feel good about ourselves. The list goes on and on.

This pressure associated with body image comes from many different sources in our lives. Of course, there are media ideals that are presented to us every day that portray an unrealistic standard of beauty that is almost impossible to attain.

But I would argue these media standards are not nearly as influential on our body image as the people in our lives who make comments on our appearance.

I have an incredibly close relationship with my mom, who happens to be much thinner than I am. At many points throughout my teenage years, she would make comments about my weight and how much happier I would be if I lost just a few pounds.

The comments were never cruel, but they still played a large part in how I saw myself.

The result was me spending a large period of my teenage years obsessing about food. I was constantly dieting and always trying to lose weight.

Then about a year ago, I realized that what my mom thought was right for my body and what was actually right for my body were two very different things.

She had no malicious intent in encouraging me to diet. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She genuinely wanted me to be happy, and to her, skinny meant happy.

But I am not my mother.

For me, happiness is not about fitting into size zero jeans or looking great in a bathing suit. Happiness is being able to eat another piece of pizza without feeling guilty, or going out to eat ice cream with my friends and actually being able to order something.

While I still have to work every day toward loving my body, I no longer live a life that is controlled by the food I choose to eat.

What we fail to realize when we alter ourselves to meet some kind of societal standard is the only person who really matters when judging your appearance is yourself. The best way to come to love your body is to start making decisions that are best for you.

Not your parents, not your friends, but the very person who is living in the body they are trying to love.