Dear students, staff, faculty and alumni,
Exactly a year ago I was a wide-eyed freshman. I was noting every word my professors said, carrying an MSU map around campus and learning the CATA bus routes.
Somehow, in just a year I have morphed into a functioning, responsible adult. I am applying for internships and scholarships before my parents nag me about them, hanging out with friends on a Saturday night and still showing up early to work on Sunday morning. I am juggling school, relationships, internships and jobs while still maintaining a 3.6 GPA. It is easy to feel like Superwoman — or an off-brand Beyoncé.
And believe it or not, I’ve learned a thing or two along the way. If I can offer any help, it is as follows:
1. Don’t always say no.
Always try new things and meet new people. I’m sorry, but unless you have a crystal ball that sees into the future (if you do, please email me at mbraganini@statenews.com), then you don’t know what kind of mischief you’ll get in or whom you’ll meet. Your college years are about pushing the envelope to see where your limits are. Martha Grimes once said, “We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.”
2. Take your blinders off.
On syllabus day, one of my journalism professors, Cheryl Pell, passed along this brilliant advice: “Look up, look down, look side to side.“
It’s easy to get lost in the hectic mode of “I have to be in South Neighborhood in 5 minutes!” but slow down. Add in a little extra time to explore your surroundings. Admire the old buildings and trees on campus. Notice the details.
3. Don’t blame.
We’re college students. We have a million things fighting for our attention, which sometimes means we miss out on relationships, opportunities and events. “We put a lot of blame on events, but really, how do we know that that’s true? We make this assumption and we can’t change the past, so then we remain stuck in an emotional pattern caused by that event,” Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist, wrote in an article. How do you break the pattern of blame?
“Ask yourself: How helpful is feeling this way for me?” says Lombardo. “Instead of thinking you didn’t get the job because you aren’t any good, really look into the situation and what happened,” Lombardo recommends. “The best way to move on, is to ask yourself what you can learn from this. Be objective instead of personalizing.”
4. Young love is precious.
Although it can be the most complicated puzzle scrambling around in your head, over and over again, love reminds us how amazing life can be when you can share experiences with someone. If you’re not having fun, then odds are the other person isn’t either, and it’s OK to call it quits because you’re overwhelmed or just not “feeling it.” On the other end of the spectrum, it’s OK to be happy in a serious, monogamous relationship, even if your roommates and frat brothers enjoy variety. Remember that there’s really no such thing as a perfect person, and we’re always changing. Flaws and imperfections can sometimes be endearing. My biggest suggestion is that you have to go after what you want, instead of assuming it will just fall into your lap. Fate is notorious for being a few steps behind.
5. Believe in yourself.
All freshmen, know this: everyone cries. No matter if you flunked your first exam or got completely lost on campus, we’ve all been there. Every experience you have will affect who you become in the future. Oprah Winfrey advises, “Confident people aren’t immune to pessimistic self-talk, but they also recognize and value their strengths — and you should, too. If you have trouble pinpointing your positive attributes, start by thinking about one trait that has served you well in life.” Even Michael Jordan got cut from basketball in high school. We all get cut, it’s how strong you come back that matters.
DISCLAIMER : If my advice doesn’t prove successful for you, never fear! it’s not the end, or even the end of the night — Insomnia Cookies is open until 3 a.m. I’ll buy you a cookie and you can share your story.
