I can remember cutting out construction paper hearts and scrawling swirly inscriptions on “one free hug” coupons.

On Sunday, many people treated their mothers and grandmothers to a variety of cards, flowers or other gestures of appreciation in celebration of the holiday.

But for people like me, there wasn’t occasion to give flowers and no big, too-tight hugs to share.

Mother’s Day feels different when the word “mom” doesn’t have a warm home in your mind.

My sisters and I don’t have the option of honoring our mother. Due to a creaky staircase of poor choices, there isn’t a mother for me to celebrate.

My father wasn’t in the picture for most of my life and before I reached the age of 17, my mother chose a life without her children.

As a little girl, it was fun to reverse roles with my mother for a day. My sisters and I conjured all sorts of messes in the kitchen to make her a Mother’s Day breakfast, served in bed for good measure.

Although that practice hasn’t been familiar in years, I can’t find a reason not to give thanks for mothers out there on the holiday.

Now, my sisters and I spend Mother’s Day reflecting on the cards we were deal t with our parents. But mostly, we’ve begun to appreciate the help we give each other. I’ve learned that you can receive the same kind of care and experience from friends, mentors and other family members.

I enjoy spending time with the parents of my close friends. Even tagging along on a trip to the grocery store with a friend and her mother is comforting.

The hardest part about showing appreciation for other people’s parents is hearing my friends say, “Why are you so nice to my mom? She’s so annoying!”

I laugh along because I can understand and of course, parents can have quite a reputation for being irritating. But it still creates an uneasy feeling in t he pit of my stomach.

People who were born to unfit mothers or who have lost their mother due to other factors learn to miss those nagging familiarities.

It’s hard to watch people take their parents for granted because at least they are there to bother you. Having to spend the l ast few years without either parent to lean on has taught me to be understanding when it comes to the guidance given by much older adults.

I know it is annoying to be asked an onslaught of questions from your parents — do you have homework? Are you still dating your boyfriend? What are you spending your money on? But at least they care enough to ask.

To have that kind of love for another person and to remember to think about them is an admirable quality. It doesn’t have to be Mother or Father’s Day to appreciate it.

Three things I’ve learned while watching friends and co-workers navigate relationships with their parents:

1) Your parents tell you to do things such as drive safely because they worry, not to bug you. Enough said.

2) Foster the differences. If you argue with your parents, take what you can from the points being shared (at various volumes) between you and use them to move forward.

3) Remember, like many passing ships in our lives, they won’t be around forever.

Most of all, try to be patient with nagging parents – at least you have them there to bug you.

Making your way through life without anyone to call mom and dad can be hard, but I know there are others out there who know the feeling.

Sierra Lay is a State News reporter. R each her at slay@statenews.com.