The good news is this means this will all be over soon. The bad news is it always seems to get worse before it gets better. The next month is bound to suck for most of us.

So, much like the gym in January after everyone makes the same New Year’s resolution, your favorite library is about to be packed.

This is going to upset people for two reasons: first, many of us are so on-edge because of the looming finals week that we’ll get mad at things any rational, coherent person wouldn’t even notice. I recall yelling at my coffee pot during my senior year as an undergrad because I was running late for class and, in my own words, it wasn’t “coffeeing fast enough.”

The second reason is because of the statistics. An increase in the number of people in the Main Library means an increase in the likelihood you’re going to encounter someone who makes your experience there a disaster. It’s a numbers game.

You know who I’m talking about. These are the people who make studying even more infuriating than it already is, and I pray you do not run into them. Even more: I pray you are not one of them.

Here are the five people you meet in the library, and I’m flattered by anyone who understands my dated Mitch Albom reference.

The 99-percenter

These people represent almost the entire student population. They are quiet, courteous and considerate of others. The 99-percenters go about their business in such a way that you don’t even notice they’re there.

If, like me, you exclusively wear hoodies and sweatpants to the library, not getting noticed is a good thing.

We just want to get in and get out. Whenever you find yourself in the library, there almost certainly is somewhere you’d rather be. The quicker studying gets done, the quicker we’re out of there.

I just described most of MSU’s library population, but unfortunately there are a few rogue attendees who throw a wrench of distraction into everyone’s plans.

The bro

Now I can’t believe this is a thing that actually occurs, but my friend told me she’s had male students try to pick her up at the library. I can only assume they offered to take her on a date to Rick’s.

My roommate has admitted to trying the same thing, with — believe it or not — no success.

How does that conversation even start? “Hey girl, how’s that organic chemistry reading going? ‘Cause I’m sensing some organic chemistry between us right now.”

There’s a general rule for trying to pick women up at the library: don’t.

The talkers

If the group rooms are full, don’t use the library to work on group projects. There are countless empty rooms on campus at any time for you all to meet. Forcing an entire room to hear all 60 slides of your PowerPoint presentation should be a felony.

Also, when your phone rings in a quiet study area, you don’t need to pick up and say, “Hey, I can’t talk. I’ll call you later,” because that’s probably exactly what your voicemail greeting says anyway.

The eater

This one is on the list pretty much because I get jealous. Since some of us shackle ourselves to the desks of the library for entire days, it’s totally fine to eat or drink in the library.

My problem with these people is they never give me their food. It’s unbearable. I’m hungry, and that Jimmy John’s looks delicious.

Dr. Dre

People who bring headphones to the library generally are 99-percenters, but there are exceptions.

Just because there’s a beat in your head and a pen in your hand doesn’t mean the rest of us need to hear an impromptu off-tempo drum solo created between your Bic and your biology textbook.

Also, humming is not allowed. You’re not Skrillex. This is not a remix.

Good luck studying, everyone. I’ll see you in the library. But, much like the other 99-percenters, you won’t even notice I’m there.