Some know it very well.

I have felt envy many times in my life. It feels like you’ve been wronged. It feels unfair and the taste is very bitter.

Once, in middle school, I felt envious of a girl because her eyes were blue. It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? It was obvious there was nothing I could do to change the color of my own eyes, and the girl hadn’t committed a crime against me by being born with a certain eye color.

Yet I couldn’t help the flare of jealousy that engulfed me.

In my senior year of high school, I entered an essay contest and won third place. Instead of being ecstatic over the fact I’d been awarded third place out of hundreds of other students, and that I won a considerable sum of money, my first feeling was that I wished I had been first or second place. I was instantly jealous of the other two girls from my school who had won first and second place, and that ruined my own experience for me. I let an ugly and angry emotion sour a moment that should have had me all smiles.

Looking back on that time, I feel so stupid.

Growing up, I don’t think we realize how often we can become jealous. In high school, it’s the clothing or the friends or the grades we envy most of other people. But think back to elementary school. Likely, most bouts of jealousy were quick and forgotten easily. Something you might not have thought twice about made you mean with jealousy. No matter what age you are, something about that feeling of unwarranted hatred makes you turn on people.

It’s something I’ve encountered in the classroom of second graders I tutor. I work at Red Cedar Elementary, which is very close to campus. I chose this tutoring job because it’s interesting to see how the minds of the next generation function. I love my job and have really never had a complaint to give about it. I’m glad I can be a part of something bigger than myself. I look up to the teacher I work with, and I admire every other faculty member I am in contact with. The way they conduct themselves is commendable.

There was a situation when one student had been chosen to leave early so he could have a few extra minutes of recess. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? But when some of the other kids — his friends — joined him outside, they wouldn’t play with him. They were mad because he’d had extra recess and they hadn’t, so they excluded him. It’s sad that because of the jealousy of his friends, that student ended recess in tears.

After their teacher was informed of the incident, she had a discussion with the class. She shared a story about her childhood with them parallel to what had happened, and it was clear that while most kids knew how they should handle jealousy, some had no clue. She asked them what you should do when someone gets something you don’t or has something you want.

One child raised his hand and confidently said, “When my friends have something I want, I like to feel happy for them.”

Believe it or not, in a classroom of more than a dozen 8-year-olds, I didn’t see a single face that didn’t agree with that philosophy. It’s hard, but the best way to treat a situation where you are jealous is to practice showing admiration. There’s a huge difference between being jealous of something a person has and admiring the fact they have it.

Jealousy isn’t just something we felt as kids. Even now, as adults, there still are plenty of times when we feel envy. Maybe more so than when we were younger. Different things are important to us now.

A few weeks ago, I had a math exam.

As I watched students get up and leave because they had finished early, I envied their math skills.

I don’t think I would have been jealous of that as a child.

It takes a big person to choose to put aside jealousy, and I swear, when those second graders understood that concept right away, it brought a smile to my lips.

Once you find a way to transform jealousy into admiration, you won’t be able to see it any other way.

When you can learn to stop focusing on the things other people have and focus on yourself, you’ll discover that it’s easier to get the things you want.

You might even find out that you already have them.

Sierra Lay is a journalism freshman. Reach her at laysierr@msu.edu.