Like any new student, I was desperate to have a few companions to endure freshmen year with. It was pretty clear right off the bat that my roommate and I were not going to be the kind of roommates that became best friends for the next 10 years, even though we get along just fine.

My next option was to befriend the students I’d be sharing a bathroom with. My suitemates and I attended most of the Welcome Week activities together, but I still didn’t feel like I belonged. I ate alone in my dining hall sometimes. To me, it seemed like everyone else already had so many friends.

For those of you who have ever felt this way, you might be surprised to learn that a lot of other students feel the same. It might be hard to believe, especially when it looks like you are the only one who didn’t bring half their graduating class with them to college. However, what you might not have realized is that even the people who arrived on campus with several pre-established friendships came to college with the hopes of making new friends.

Your attitude and activity make a huge difference in how you meet people. From my own experience, I know that simply cannot wait in your room for potential friends to knock on your door.

Luckily, the numbers are on your side at MSU. There are about 48,000 possible friends meandering through campus. You just have to leave your room.

Imagine this situation: you get into an elevator in your hall and there is someone you don’t know already inside. We’ve all been there. You’re trapped in an elevator with a stranger and a torturous, awkward silence for however long it takes to get to your floor. Although you might be ridiculously relieved once the elevator doors finally pull apart, you just missed an opportunity. That stranger could have been your future best friend, or even just someone who you could count on to eat a few meals with you now and then.

When you’re out in the real world — and we are — the littlest things become the gateway to new friendships. I only have made a couple of close friends outside of my dorm in the short time I’ve lived on campus, but it’s easier than you think to make a connection.

Once, I was waiting in line for a fire safety assembly with the rest of my hall a few days after everyone moved in. I had only been talking to my suitemates and knew I should branch out, so I turned to the woman behind me, intending to say “hello,” and instead I said, “I like your tattoo.” Since then, she and I have become good friends; and because she introduced me to her friends, I developed even more friendships.

Taking the time to notice someone and give him or her a sincere compliment is a great start. People like to feel noticed. Things like holding a door for someone, moving your backpack so another student can sit next to you in class, making small talk in an elevator, or even a genuine smile to people on the street can be just the gesture someone needed to approach you.

Still not convinced that your attitude has that much to do with it?

Think about this. While studying for one of my anthropology classes, I read that people will act the way you expect them to. That means that if you are talking to someone sitting next to you in class and you expect them to act rude and unfriendly, your attitude will reflect that. Since humans are pretty good at reading how another person feels, your classmate will pick up on that feeling and act unfriendly because that’s what your body language was showing them.

On the other hand, as you might have guessed, if you expect someone to act friendly and kind, they will usually act that way.

Need more motivation?

I’m sure your professors have mentioned that networking is kind of important, and unfortunately, they’re right. Making friends is like the entry level to networking. If friends aren’t your highest priority and you’re thinking that none of this was relevant to you, remember that friends also make excellent study partners.

Sierra Lay is a journalism freshman. Reach her at laysierr@msu.edu.