If we put half as much of the effort that went into constructing our mecca of a dining hall, Brody Square, into our workout facilities, our IM Sports buildings would be more likely to convince our prospective student-athletes and amateur couch sloths to stick around.

Let’s take IM Sports-East for example. Sure, it’s only a hop, skip and a jump away from East Neighborhood, but it contains a weight room equivalent to that of a hotel. It’s always packed with tank top-wearing bodybuilders who make the rest of us couch sloths embarrassed to step foot in there. For the 15,000-some MSU students living on campus, a gym this small just doesn’t make sense.

The two-story weight room in IM Sports-West claims the territory nearest to South Neighborhood by Spartan Stadium (for which the twenty-minute walk from East Neighborhood could be an exercise in itself).

But that’s the problem — IM Sports-West is so far away that with the winter months fast-approaching, I’m not sure I’d be dedicated enough to pry myself out of my toasty-warm residence hall to exercise in a humdrum fitness facility.

IM Sports-West provides access to tennis and volleyball courts — that is, if you’re willing to step foot inside the penitentiary-looking exterior. For a place that is supposed to make you feel better about yourself, it sure could cause some confusion for the modern day onlooker. It stands in the midst of campus composed of shabby orange bricks and “IM Sports-West” in minuscule white lettering on a side of the building.

At $85 a semester pass, or $160 a year-long membership, you gain access to the weight rooms at any of the four IM sports fitness centers on campus. Not to bring up our little sister, but the workout facilities located next to the Big House are free of charge with a student ID as long as you’re enrolled in classes for the current semester. Are we getting snubbed?

One of the amenities offered by MSU at IM Sports facilities is the group exercise classes. Salsa dancing your way to the perfect bod seems like a great idea to get rid of the extra couple cookies (and pounds) you’ve been sneaking since your initiation to the unlimited buffet-style dining halls included in your meal plan. Unfortunately, these exercises also come at a price — about $70 per semester.

Aside from working out at the IM Sports buildings, there always is the option to exercise outdoors.

The exception, of course, comes during a large portion of the school year when MSU is frozen stiff from the sheets of ice immobilizing our campus, taking no mercy — in which case, there is always the basement of select residence halls.

Deep, dark, decrepit basements. Yay.

A stingy, outdated room filled with mirrors and dirt from our agricultural ancestor houses a used and abused stair stepper, along with two treadmills, that function sometimes if you kick them on the side simultaneously with one leg still walking on the belt. No weights allowed. A fan or two radiate asthma-inducing dust and musty sweat particles to fill your oxygen-deprived lungs. But hey, it’s “free,” right?

To avoid confusion, no, I didn’t just describe the dungeon in “The Silence of the Lambs.” I’m talking about the “exercise room” in the basement of Akers Hall.

Our gyms and dust bunny-filled fitness areas could use some sprucing up. For what students and alumni pay, and however tuition gets divided, I’d say that our fitness and training centers only compare to the recently demolished Morrill Hall.

Additionally, the desirability our Big Ten institution would have on incoming freshmen, professors and scholars would greatly increase from facility improvements. Each of the 500-plus buildings on campus should reflect what we all know to be true: MSU is a classy, fully capable, competitive university that guides our beautiful student body to success.

Renovations and upkeep of our fitness centers would only add to the grandeur of our home here in East Lansing.

Cayden Royce is a State News staff reporter. Reach her at croyce@statenews.com.