Thank you, Facebook, for informing me that my friend’s little sister who just graduated from high school now is engaged. Suddenly, the clock seems to be ticking for the rest of us.

In an individual’s early 20s, he or she generally can be influenced by romance and emotion instead of sense. Feelings take precedent over logic. Everyone is looking for the one person who will complete them and bring the happiness for which they have been searching.

This leads us to America’s divorce statistics.

It frequently is said the divorce rate in America is 50 percent. However, it is important to notice how those numbers are distributed.

The highest percentages of divorce occur for couples between the ages of 20 and 24 — 36.6 percent for females and 38.8 percent for males. As the marriage age increases, the percentages drastically drop.

Why does it seem as if young couples can’t seem to keep their marriages together — or even want to? I do not wish to appear as if I believe a lasting marriage is impossible if one marries at a young age, I just think young people need to evaluate what is at the center of their relationships.

This leads me back to my reaction to Maguire’s supposedly romantic line: “You complete me.”

Looking for completion in another person is a recipe for divorce. Most people spend their lives searching for something to fill some kind of void. Some choose careers, money or fame, but more often than not, people seek fulfillment in another person.

If you put all your expectations of fulfillment in a career, what will happen when you graduate college and are unable to find a job?

A similar principle is true of marriage. If all one’s hopes and dreams are centered on the “One,” what will happen when he or she fails to live up to such unrealistic expectations of fulfillment?

People are hopelessly flawed; one day the rose-colored glasses will come off and that person will let you down. You too, also will fall short of what your partner desired.

Couples reach a crossroads at this point. One begins a new relationship and thinks the coupling will make everything “right.” Eventually, the ecstasy wears off and there comes time to make a choice. Unfortunately too many couples choose to begin the search for the “One” all over again, believing there is a person out there who will complete them.

News flash: Not going to happen.

It is crazy to think one imperfect person will find completion in the addition of one more flawed person. No wonder such a disastrous equation results in divorce.

Like the Righteous Brothers’ song, too many people have “lost that lovin’ feelin’” and view it as a valid reason for divorce. However, truly loving someone has to be more than a feeling. Feelings are transitory. If love only is a feeling, then the very basis of marriage vows is eliminated.

One cannot promise with certainty to love their spouse forever, because they cannot promise a loving feeling will remain. It is no surprise that marriage vows are broken so easily with this skewed view of love as a feeling rather than a conscious choice.

So I say to Maguire, “please do not try to complete me;” I welcome an equal-partnership marriage.
Furthermore, I hold to the belief that the only one who really can satisfy my heart is the one who created it.

Kristen Kitti is a State News guest columnist and an English senior. Reach her at kittikri@msu.edu.