On the way, I stop to get a coffee-like beverage, the description of which would not fit in this column. People say an hour-long commute sounds rough, but with my positive outlook and a little help from Starbucks, it’s been a productive growth experience.

Side note: I used to go to Biggby’s, but then I found out what its name used to be. As a conscientious consumer, I will never step foot in that place of business again.

Once at school, I make sure to pick up my free copies of The New York Times, USA Today and The State News. A good citizen listens to every perspective — as long as it’s not an extreme perspective.

Extremists are so awful. For example, did you know the Young Democratic Socialists — who meet every Thursday at 8:30 p.m. in C-220E Snyder Hall — actually think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a socialist?

Ah, the folly of youth! I’m sure they’ll wise up once they have to get jobs in the “Real World.” (I say “Real World” because college, as you might know, does not exist.)

With my new MacBook, classes have become bearable. When I get bored, I hop on Facebook. I think technology is amazing — especially Web 2.0 and smartphones.

Companies such as Apple and Google are my favorites because they are revolutionizing the way we communicate and are ushering in a new era of democracy. Sometimes, I cry just thinking about it.

Now, some grognards (old soldiers) complain about the Internet being involved in something called “the digital surveillance state,” but they’re probably just paranoid conspiracy theorists. Also, I have no idea what they’re talking about.

I definitely haven’t heard about American ISPs helping the Iranian government track down dissidents by way of the web — and besides, that’s Iran. Things like that don’t happen here.

Where was I? Ah yes, I was indulging in blithe narcissism. Later in the day, I check in with my “Natural Spiritual Lifelong Wellness and Healing Co-Learner/Coach.”

I’m not sure what his expertise is, but I do know he’s helping to guide me on my life’s journey — I always feel better after meeting with him.

He’s made me aware of the wonderful products that exist for the maintenance of emotional well-being. I have to admit, the day I started seeing him was a good day for the makers of pills, supplements and shiatsu pillows. Ha, ha. (I also have no inkling that my shiatsu pillow was made by abused children, or that child labor exists in the U.S.)

Upon returning home, there’s usually an organic, all-natural meal waiting for me. If you’re wondering – and, knowing how important I am, you probably are – I do shop at Whole Foods Market.

It might be a little more expensive, but really, can you put a price on status? If only everyone shopped there, we wouldn’t need health care. Whole Foods Market CEO John Mackey said so himself.

I’ll admit being a liberal isn’t without its downsides, but I try not to pay attention to them. I’m proud to say I donate regularly to Support Our Troops and Code Pink — in equal amounts. This has done wonders for my guilt.

I also donate to organizations that give out micro-loans to entrepreneurs in impoverished countries. It’s really great; I got a new pen pal out of it!

For some reason, she’s always coming back for more loans. It’s almost as though the micro-loans are predatory scams, trapping the world’s poor in cycles of debt under the guise of philanthropy.

But that kind of thinking is for negative Nancies. Me, I’m a glass-half-full kind of guy. That’s why I encourage you to listen to Phil Ochs’ “Love Me, I’m a Liberal.”

I daresay, it’s uplifting.

Joel Reinstein is a State News guest columnist. Reach him at reinste5@msu.edu.