It is a world of easy access, instant gratification and heightened command over our own lives. Technology has placed everyone a nondistance away and contact is not far beyond. Romantic connections have been socially classified, with structured boundaries meant to protect, and physically based definitions have shifted importance from feel to touch.

So let us approach this Valentine’s Day a little differently. In waves, social and entertainment media will mainstream the more creative romantic gestures, rendering unique approaches almost nonexistent to us “standard romancers.” That makes now an opportune time to refocus on the simple, pure forms of romance. So let us return to true romance.

Let us first consider where the heart speaks to the mind (and the mind is forced to listen): in dreams. The person of one’s dreams must not be treated as a typical individual, let alone an equal, until after the vision is delicately handled to bring sleeping reveries to waking moments. Only then might each part become an equal piece of the new whole. Until then one must remain unequal, remain unworthy, remain sought after, even if, ironically, equally. For those of you with an object of affection in mind, follow suit.

Outside of the mind, let it begin naturally, where it all does, with simple eye contact and a smile. Often enough, in those special cases, that first look won’t register, and one will double-back, craving confirmation, seeking to further an initial spark. Whether or not returned, whether or not progressed, this is true romance. That burning that radiates from the chest, first noticed in the cheeks, the light fingers that beg occupation and the heavy heart that begs freedom; the dilemma of keeping this new discovery pristine and idolized, or bringing him or her back into your reality, this is true romance.

Now, sadly, the modernization of pursuit has endangered the crush, one of the original forms of true romance. It is assumed that “crush” is synonymous with “target,” and brings with it a connotation of aggressiveness or obsession. When in its purest form, a crush simply is the full appreciation of a part, or the whole, of a person for what that part or whole means to one. Let a smirk, let a laugh, let a dimple or a crooked nose, let a talent, let a voice, let a performance touch you, regardless for whom it is produced. Allow yourself to be embedded in the character and poise of someone else, with no harm to either. Understand, and be satisfied by, the absence of desire, not that it means you are powerful in resistance, but that you are weakened by something your heart sees as good.

It’s a trick of self-realization, of seeing and knowing what makes you smile. It’s essentially a love of loving; establishing sacredness to what is otherwise ordinary. Although lines might become blurred, the instant of confession sometimes presents itself and is too enticing to pass up. In such moments, just remember the pure intention is in the reception, not recognition of giving. Anonymity might be romance’s last true ally.

So allow yourself to be swept up in this “Hallmark holiday,” despite your past experiences or structured opinions. Remember that those who hurt the most have the potential to love the most, those with the bleakest romantic past have the brightest romantic future, and tears of pain will always be washed away with tears of joy, because the potential passion of an individual will be seen in tragedy and romance. Going through the present pain for a future somebody knowing you will one day be healed whenever you do meet — this is true romance.

This Valentine’s Day, while my heart recognizes its atrophy, I urge you all to open yours, if not just to, and for, yourself. Focus on the little things, the simple joys.

Ben Price is a State News guest columnist and kinesiology and coaching graduate student. Reach him at priceben@msu.edu.