When I was 16, like many 16-year-old girls throughout history, the only thing I ever wanted to do — besides get my homework done, pass my driver’s test and hang out with friends — was talk to boys.
Something I find to be a natural part of growing up was not tolerated for Medine Memi, a 16-year-old girl from Kahta, a city in Southeastern Turkey.
According to various news sources, Memi’s father was unhappy that his daughter was socializing with friends that happened to be male.
Her punishment? To be buried alive under her family’s chicken coop.
My question is: Why in the world is it culturally acceptable for this girl to deserve to be punished for being a teenage girl? This isn’t the first time when a woman was murdered by her own family for “bringing shame” by doing something most Westerners (or humans in general) would not think twice about. Sadly, many of these crimes are not reported, but that doesn’t diminish their frequency, considering they’re not deemed immoral in the society where they occur.
There’s nothing that proves Memi had violated certain household rules or did more than simply talk to boys. However you look at it, I believe it doesn’t matter because there is not one excuse that can ever justify “honor killing” your own daughter for acting like a teenage girl and talking to boys.
If you’re anything like me, you might be thinking, “If she was only talking to them, I’d be scared to know what would happen to her if she acted more like me.”
Many might automatically jump to the conclusion of specific religions being the primary reason for such injustices. It isn’t always about religion, but rather ignorance. The issue is that the men in some societies possess ultimate power over women, when really it’s the women in these cultures who are the ones fulfilling the family’s honor.
After learning of the horror that is this story, I could not be more thankful for living in a country where I have an inalienable right and freedom to be friends with any person I want: male, female or in-between.
Although some would disagree, we are not perfect. Although it doesn’t compare to the story of Memi, there are a lot of different ways our own culture never ceases attempting to reduce the value of a woman because she isn’t ashamed of something that society sees as taboo. And it’s not just men. Here is the kicker — women easily stigmatize other women as well.
Anything that happens to a girl or woman all over the world will affect us all, as do decisions of women in our own American culture. I’m not talking about women in rap videos, photoshopped pictures of women in magazines or anything of the sort, which is a whole other can of worms.
I’m talking about walking into a female community bathroom and seeing another student’s name written in big, black letters on a dry-erase board indicating that girl is a “huge skank.” There’s obviously a big difference between simply talking to a guy and being a “huge skank,” yet both men and women shrug it off because it’s culturally acceptable and, to some, rather humorous.
As long as we continue to distract ourselves with whether or not Brad and Angelina still are married, such barbaric acts similar to Memi’s will continue to occur if there’s no attempt to change the way we all think and act, not just in America, but worldwide.
Simply being aware and intolerant of these injustices and spreading the word about them can make a significant difference on society’s outlook on how women, and people in general, deserve to be treated.
Whether it’s not tolerating being called a rude name or leaving an abusive relationship, we can make a change in the world by taking responsibility for our valuable existence and taking charge of it. Especially by exhibiting your right to the pursuit of happiness and talking to anybody you like.
Cristina Toscano is a State News columnist and journalism sophomore. Reach her at toscanoc@msu.edu.
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