Each week, State News football reporter Ethan Conley offers his own Top 10 college football rankings.
No. 1 — Ohio State (No. 1 AP)
I briefly considered moving Auburn up to No. 1. After all, the Buckeyes haven't looked that great for the last two weeks. But this is college football, and at the end of the day, game-breaking playmakers are the difference between national champions and also-rans. No one on Auburn's roster compares to Ted Ginn Jr. and Troy Smith. So even with that stellar defense, the Tigers are staying at No. 2 — for now.
No. 2 — Auburn (No. 2 AP)
But on the other hand, the Buckeyes took down a Miami (Fla.) team loaded with future pros, including Willis McGahee and Andre Johnson, in the 2002 Fiesta Bowl.
No. 3 — Southern Cal (No. 3 AP)
The Trojans' best player, wide receiver Dwayne Jarrett, is nursing a sprained shoulder. Jarrett is a bit short on cash, so Matt Leinart's dad is picking up the medical bills.
No. 4 — LSU (No. 9 AP)
Through four games, the Tigers have allowed just 20 points. I'm expecting opposing coaches to start downing caffeine pills, pull their shirts over their heads and manically mimic a scene from "Beavis and Butt-Head Do America":
"Dammit! This always happens! I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score! It's not fair! We traveled um, a mil- … a hundred miles, just because we thought we were gonna score! But now it's not gonna happen! Dammit!"
No. 5 — Florida (No. 5 AP)
Speaking of Cornholio impersonations, Urban Meyer might be the first to crack because the Gators are about to go through hell. After they trounce Alabama on Saturday, they'll get LSU and Auburn in a seven-day span. Two weeks later, they play Georgia. At least two losses are on the horizon.
No. 6 — Michigan (No. 6 AP)
Lloyd Carr looked pretty sharp wearing a cheap, faded hat and $2 plastic sunglasses against Wisconsin on Saturday. After the victory, he joined some similarly dressed U-M fans and shared a celebratory 30-pack of Milwaukee's Best.
All Lloyd-bashing aside, the Wolverines' defense looks superb. No team has been stingier in stopping the run — U-M has given up just 18.5 yards per game on the ground.
No. 7 — West Virginia (No. 4 AP)
See what happens when you test me, West Virginia fans? Want to keep sending angry e-mails? Then sit and watch as I drop your beloved Mountaineers down a spot (especially after Steve Slaton gained just 80 yards on 24 carries against the East Carolina School for the Blind). I'm throwing objectivity out the window.
Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns. The next time I have to come in here, I'm crackin' skulls.
No. 8 — Texas (No. 7 AP)
The Longhorns would be wise to put Sam Houston State away early on Saturday because the defense needs the rest. A full-strength Adrian Peterson and the Oklahoma Sooners are just ahead.
No. 9 — Louisville (No. 8 AP)
So much for the assumption that the Cardinals can only outscore their opponents — they've got the 12th-best scoring defense in the nation. And yes, I pulled that stat because I couldn't think of anything witty to say about them.
No. 10 — Notre Dame (No. 12 AP)
The Irish might be the hardest team in the nation to figure out. They were terrible against U-M and just as bad in the first quarter against MSU. But then their quarterback got that "I'm going to throw a touchdown pass on this play, and then I'm going to sleep with your girlfriend after the game, because I'm Brady effing Quinn" look in his eye.
Between now and a Nov. 25 showdown with Southern Cal, Notre Dame's biggest opponent will be boredom. Even in the worst-case scenario, the Irish are going to finish the season with 10 wins and a BCS berth.
But did the Irish really win Saturday night's game or did MSU just lose it?
No. 35 — MSU
John L. Smith is extremely upset with Demond Williams. He has no idea why the senior cornerback returned a kickoff to the 12-yard line and took a knee. Smith said Williams was clearly instructed to mimic the coaching staff — by assuming the fetal position, then waving a white flag.
Ethan Conley can be reached at conleyet@msu.edu.
