What's the difference between Walter Sobchak, a fictional character from the Coen brothers' 1998 film "The Big Lebowski," and Duke University?

In the film, Walter knew "life does not start and stop at your convenience." When his fictional friend Donny irked him enough, Walter loudly would remind Donny of exactly that. But Donny - who loved bowling - was a good man. And so was Walter. They knew that life operates at a pace that sometimes is out of our hands. And most of the time, it's by no ill will or conspiracy against us. We all have to do things when we'd rather not do them.

But the Duke Blue Devils don't seem to understand that. They'd rather do things at their own pace and leisure and make sure they get enough sleep each night so they can camp out for basketball tickets. It almost sounds idyllic, but it's just not reality.

Earlier this week, Duke University eliminated 8 a.m. courses so students will be able to get enough sleep. Duke counselors say Blue Devils need nine hours of dozing each night to be alert scholars, while national surveys suggest that college students get considerably less than that. The result in Durham? Push back reality and sleep in.

"Dude," Walter Sobchak would say. "Let's go bowling."

In the interest of complete honesty, who among us wouldn't love to start each day the moment our bodies wake us up naturally? Roll out of bed, maybe have some cereal, some "SportsCenter," take a look at the Jumble and get ready to face the day. The only problem with that soothing scenario is that by the time that's all done, it's 1:30 p.m. and you've missed all your classes and already are late for work.

So, surveys say college students don't get enough sleep. Excuse us while we contact the Department of the Completely Obvious. But eliminating early class is no way to ensure that students will sleep more, and it's surely no guarantee that Duke students will be healthier and smarter. So what if you're tired and can barely attend an 8 a.m. class? Frankly, it's your fault for scheduling a class you knew would be difficult to manage.

Moreover, doesn't college have enough transcendent escapism already? We choose when we want to go to class and how often. Then, when we're there, regardless of the time of day, we decide how much attention we wish to pay. College already is an enormous unilateral choice in nearly all aspects. Eliminating classes because there's concern that students can't hack it is coddling - not college.

It takes exactly one semester for students to love or hate the 8 a.m. class. If it isn't your cup of tea, don't be sadistic enough to schedule yourself one. If you're a morning person and relish getting class done early in your day, please don't wake us on your way out in the morning. Between work, extracurriculars and athletics, sometimes the 8 a.m. is a bitter shot of reality. Granted, it's a bitter shot of reality that punches you in the face each morning to remind you to schedule class better, but it's reality nonetheless.

Duke University, good effort. You're looking out for the students and that's commendable. But in college, no one is forcing you to be anywhere. Let's keep the 8 a.m. option open and be treated like adults.

Sleep well, Blue Devils. Maybe the trustees could tuck you in and get you some juice, too.