In "Kindergarten Cop," California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger wanted to know, "Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"
Arnie's children can say without a trace of satire that their Austrian-born, Predator-hunting father is, in fact, the governor of the Golden State. He handily defeated Cruz Bustamante in a funny-name contest - the name of the porn star running for governor rhymed, remember - to replace former California Gov. Gray Davis. The people of California had spoken, and then Jay Leno's chin introduced the voice of the wolf from "Dr. Dolittle 2" as the next governor.
And what fun it's been to be a Californian since. Gay couples in San Francisco are being issued marriage licenses despite what Arnold says, there's a supermarket strike, mudslides threaten the southern coast and Seth from "The OC" lost his virginity. Amazing.
Who is your daddy and what does he do? He runs the state of California. But Arnold is numero uno, and he wants more. The former Mr. Universe said on NBC's "Meet the Press" that foreign-born citizens of the United States should be eligible for the Oval Office. A proposed constitutional amendment from Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, has asked for the same thing. The current administration has given proof that command of the English language is not a prerequisite, so where's the harm?
Despite the three-ring circus that is Sacramento right now, Schwarzenegger has a point. Constitutionally, the president needs to be 35 years of age, a U.S. resident for at least 14 years and be "natural born." The last part eliminates Arnold, along with our governor, Jennifer Granholm, who was born in Canada.
To represent citizens in the House of Representatives, one must be 25 years old and a citizen for seven years. For the Senate, one must be 30 years old and a citizen for nine years. All of these offices conspicuously lack the "natural-born" characteristic that is presidential.
So, the unlikely duo of Schwarzenegger and Hatch - coming to theaters this summer - is on board to let foreign-born citizens become the president. It's with great reluctance we agree with Schwarzenegger and Hatch, but mostly because it means we agree with Schwarzenegger.
A representative to the House essentially serves one purpose - to represent the constituents justly to the best of his or her ability. Of course, politics is not that inherently simple. Nevertheless, if an American is permitted to be a citizen for seven years and represent a group of Americans, what makes that person unqualified to represent all Americans?
Is there a special punch card one receives when they are "natural born?" Maybe there is a secret handshake or a special clubhouse when you achieve "presidential requirement" status. If someone is eligible to represent one American, he or she is qualified to represent all Americans.
Don't get ahead of yourself, Arnie. This one is in support of Granholm. Only, of course, if she were interested in hanging the maple leaf in the Oval Office.
