A few days ago, I sat and watched a couple of my colleagues watching the MSU vs. Purdue men's basketball game. I found myself sitting there, intrigued way more by these friends than by the game, and asking myself, "Why? Why the happy display of jumping, why the pearly white grins? Why the furrowed brow, the pensive stare, the gruff pessimistic exclamations, the anxious fingers running through hair?" When the basketball got stuck between the backboard and the rim, I understood the irritation, but I didn't feel it. I'm not skeptical about the joy and heartbreak of sports, and I'm not berating it - I simply just don't get it.

It wasn't always this way. At one point in my life, I claimed to love basketball - I declared my heart for the Pistons, back during the days when Grant Hill was still around. But in reality, I didn't care. I still don't, and my apathy is incredibly frustrating. Sports are an entire facet of life I don't understand. It's like a fourth dimension, and I can't learn the secret password because I don't know the lingo. For someone who loves people, this forum of competition is a place where I can't relate to other human beings in the obviously deep emotional and primal tie they all share. It makes me feel like I'm missing some of the necessary human programming, and I don't like it. I feel blank. I feel deficient. I am the lonely outsider in sports land.

I've tried to care - I've been to various games and have zoned out every time. The lingo scares me, and the ability to consistently pay attention to a team's progress through an entire season boggles my mind. I can't keep the names straight, I don't understand why one team is more precious to certain individuals than another, and I don't get how two teams playing each other has anything to do directly with me. I can't even go to football games - I would rather lay in the snow face down than do the wave or scream catchy supportive phrases for MSU while sitting crammed into a stadium with sweaty strangers who all love being there. When a team loses, the entire feel of campus changes, and I get frustrated that all my friends are upset. When a team wins, I feel isolated and can't celebrate with the others.

It's even more disconcerting that I can't participate because sports as a form of entertainment has been around for ages - it's not a fad. Compare the gladiators of ancient Rome dueling in the Coliseum to the boxing and wrestling of today, and you can't deny the striking similarities. Sure, gladiators fought to the death, but boxers often punch each other into a bloody oblivion, so I don't necessarily see a distinguishing difference. We might be more high-tech, but humanity has not innately changed all that much.

I'm also sure watching sports both taps into our intrinsic sense of survival, as well as builds community among watchers who identify themselves with a team and internalize every win and loss. I might not feel any particular way when I watch one team lose and one team win, but I can try to understand on an emotionless level. Why do we view sports of the past as grotesque and sports of today as intriguing?

I think a big part of it might be capitalism. While gladiators were slaves who were forced to participate in these life-endangering activities, it is now a choice. Anyone can succeed. Sports stopped being about exploiting certain groups of people, and instead proved to be a way out for those who wanted to climb the socio-economic ladder. And, while it is quite common for people to cheat in order to claw their way to a higher standard of living in capitalism, that cannot be done to the same degree in sports.

Sure, there are cases of participants taking body-enhancing drugs or throwing games for bribes, but for the most part, it is a forum where you cannot hide your weakness. You either have the strength and agility or you don't.

I might never understand, and I might never want to sit down and watch a game with you, but if nothing else, I'll want to sit and watch you in partial wonderment and admiration of the excitement so readily displayed by sports fans everywhere for such an honest diversion.

Sonia Khaleel is a State News intern. She can be reached at khaleel1@msu.edu.