You know, the MSU Department of Police and Public Safety has always made me feel very safe on campus, what with handing out parking tickets, minor in possession of alcohol tickets, parking tickets, and, um, well, MIPs. But my relationship with the department has become a bit strained as of late. The reason, you see, is that they stole my bike.

I rode my bike to work at the Chemistry Building and locked it to the rack, as I do every day, and during the time I was at work the police apparently came and cut the lock on my bike, put it in a trailer and took it to a fenced-in parking lot.

I immediately saw that my bike was stolen when I left work that day. I had no idea that the police had taken it. Apparently, police steal your bike if you don’t have a registration sticker on it. That sticker costs $2.

So I walk over to DPPS and found out that the police did indeed stole my bike. After an inept search through the computer system, I was allowed to go, in person, to the theft (impound) lot to identify my bike, which I did in a matter of seconds. As I prepare to pedal away, the “assistant” (and I use the term loosely) asks me if I would like to pay for it. I respond that it’s my bike, and I’ve already paid for it.

She informs me that I now owe a $10 impound fee. My jaw hit the ground: $10 for the privilege of having my bike stolen? Who do these crooks think they are?

First, I am out a $15 lock (which might not be a lot to most, but is to me) which was cut.

Then they ask me for the $10 for the privilege of stealing my bike. There aren’t words to describe my anger.

So as I see it, it functions like this: Give DPPS $2 for a sticker to put on your bike, in case it’s stolen and DPPS may find it (which is highly unlikely, given that any idiot with a rag and a bottle of nail polish remover can take a sticker off a bike), you can receive a phone call telling you that a bike with your sticker on it was found. Or, if you don’t, they steal your bike (the exact crime the department is trying to prevent, right?). Well, as I see it, a piddly little sticker is not going to help the police force that we employ on our campus, so why should I waste my $2 that could be better spent taking care of a parking ticket or a MIP? Also, I would like my $15 back for the malicious destruction of property that was the result of you breaking my lock. That is all.

Ian Coote
English senior