I have been told that in this existentialist age in which we live, nothing is funny anymore. I cannot help but be saddened by such a bleak outlook on the state of humor in modern times.
Is laughter merely a thing of the past? Have we lost sight of those aspects of life we once found so incredibly comical?
These questions have plagued me recently, and I have made the resolution to these painful issues the crux of my life’s noble quest.
In my painstaking search for enlightenment, I discovered something few have been willing to recognize. I have found that humor is thriving in a manner unlike any previous age, on this very campus.
Fellow students and citizens of the world alike, I beg you to open your eyes and marvel at the sheer comic genius we have failed to see. Look about your friends, and be merry.
It occurred to me in the most sacred of venues for enlightenment - a public restroom. Scrawled upon the wall of the stall I saw a notice that read, “For a good time, call Debra.”
Immediately following this message was a phone number. Hoping that this Debra knew the answer to my humor-related queries, I found the nearest telephone and placed the call.
To my surprise, I found neither a joke-of-the-day nor funny anecdote.
Rather, she seemed annoyed and even somewhat offended that I had called. Assuming I had dialed the wrong number, I checked the stall again only to find that it was in fact correct.
That was when it finally hit me - I had been duped. The joke was not for me, it was on me.
Oh, how I laughed at the brilliance of this anonymous comedian who had written the message on the bathroom stall. Immediately I set out to find more of this misunderstood genius’ work.
Friends, I did not have to look far.
Upon stepping into the building’s elevator I found yet another brilliant joke.
Our campus humorist had soiled the elevator with both urine and saliva. I could barely contain my amusement as I was forced to stand in the only corner not covered with these hilarious bodily fluids.
Soon I began to remember previous encounters of a similar nature, deducing that they must have been the work of the same comic mind.
I recalled an incident in which I noticed a “Bike Room” sign had been altered to indicate that the room was a receptacle not for bikes, but rather a room for backsides, or as the sign said, “Butts.”
I can only imagine the confusion and hilarity that must have resulted.
As well, last Saturday, the phone call I received at 4 a.m. must have come from you, my anonymous humorist. The voice on the other end asked if I had any of “deez.” When I asked, “Deez what?” He exclaimed, “Deez nuts!”
The subtlety and quick wit caught me completely off-guard. Even the drunken shouts and laughter in the background could not have tipped me off.
Even now, I cannot help but smile at the memory of the day I came home to find a prophylactic stretched over the door handle of my dorm room.
How funny it must have been for all of my hallmates to believe that I had been having intercourse with my door.
Fear not, my fellow comedy lovers, someone is looking out for all of us. Humor is not dead. Laughter shall once again rise from the grounds of our institute for higher learning and enlightenment.
Thanks to this comic savior of MSU, students are free to laugh again. Whoever you are, we are all indebted to you. Thank you.
Tim McCarty, a sophomore freelancer for The State News, is still searching for something worth laughing about on campus. To let him know what you think, send him an e-mail at mccar137@msu.edu.
