It’s popcorn, all right? Over and over again, I get asked what the globs are that mark how I rate the movies on a scale of one to five. My favorite was when someone suggested it was smoke from my crack pipe, detailing how many hits you would have to take to enjoy the film. Well, it’s not smoke and it’s not boogers - it’s popcorn. Don’t ask me, I only work here.
Anyway, movies based on sketch comedy characters are usually pure drivel. Bad stories, bad ideas and bad characters that have no place filling up 90 minutes of celluloid. The success rate is very low (1992’s “Wayne’s World,” 1980’s “The Blues Brothers,” compared to 1994’s “It’s Pat ... The Movie” and last year’s “The Ladies Man”) but there is always hope. “Zoolander” is proof that it can work, as long as it has a solid foundation to build on.
What saves “Zoolander” is pure and simple: Ben Stiller. He manages to create a rounded, funny character out of what a lesser actor and funnyman would have turned into a catchphrase-spewing cheap laugh. He’s proven his chops in comedy before, and his triple effort of writing, directing and starring in this movie is a testament to the guy’s moviemaking ability.
Rather than just focusing on his character as a parody of the ridiculous fashion industry (even though the stuff worn on the runways for real is usually even more idiotic than what they wear in the flick) he creates a character who, although dumb and shallow, is a blast to watch. Rather than relying on the old joke of a dumb industry making a hero out of an even dumber man, Zoolander has some depth and humanity, and you even get to like him after a while.
Ben Stiller plays the title character, Derek Zoolander, a dim-witted guy who has managed to be one of the biggest models in the world, despite being a complete idiot. His success comes from his wide array of looks - “Blue Steel,” “Le Tigre,” “Magnum” - which look identical. But when newcomer Hansel (Owen Wilson, doing a great job) starts to take over Zoolander’s top spot, not to mention the loss of his roommates during a hilarious gas-fight sequence, he’s left with only one option.
That option is to take a modeling gig with big-time designer Mugatu (played by always-great Will Ferrell). Little does Zoolander know, however, Mugatu has brainwashed him into killing the prime minister of Malaysia, who has stepped up worker’s rights, causing the fashion industry to pay more to create their goofy clothing lines.
Zoolander discovers that this scheme has been around for years. John Wilkes Booth? Yup, male model - just look at the cheekbones. The two guys on the grassy knoll who shot Kennedy - you guessed it, they were wearing top-notch tailored suits and had great hair.
The whole thing is designed as a funny look at an industry that takes itself way too seriously, not to mention the chance for not only Stiller, Wilson and Ferrell to have a blast, but for the huge number of cameos that show up as well. David Bowie even shows up to judge a runway walk-off, and we all know that Bowie is one of the coolest people alive.
So, while you’re waiting for the sure-to-be-even-more-hilarious Mariah Carey vehicle “Glitter” to make its way to our neck of the woods, you can’t go wrong with “Zoolander.” I give it four snot globs, or whatever they are.
