I can see my e-mail inbox filling up already. People writing to tell me that I’m insensitive and uncaring, unable to look at the good in the new movie “Riding in Cars with Boys.”
But I can see the good. It’s just unfortunate that there’s so little in this self-indulgent turd of a movie.
What the good comes down to are the efforts of two people: Drew Barrymore and Steve Zahn. Both accomplished actors, they bust their butts to try and save this one.
But it’s dead on arrival, complete with a hackneyed script and a lousy bit of directing.
Barrymore plays Bev, or Beverly, or whatever people call her that day. She starts off as a young girl obsessed with boys and of course, sex. She’s in a hurry to grow up and before you know it, she’s knockin‘ boots with Ray (Steve Zahn). And as a result, she gets pregnant.
She drops out of school and gets married, all before she can drive a car. But she keeps her dreams of being a writer and going to college.
We’re constantly reminded of her dreams, since that’s all she talks about. Raising her kid never seems to be much of a priority, except when she runs out of other things to be a drama queen about. Her son Jason (played by a bunch of different kids) reminds her at one point, “I’m what you had to get over - you should know, you wrote a book about it.”
And that’s how the entire thing feels. Beverly never wants to take responsibility for her son, and every decision is based on whether or not she will achieve her dreams.
This movie is based on the book of the same name by the real Beverly. I’ve never read it, on account of all the movie watching, drinking and of course, school (Hi, mom). From what I understand, it’s pretty good.
If it is any good, I can only imagine that this screen version is a disastrous take on it. The only characters that are at all likable are Ray and Jason. But Ray’s a white trash drug addict and Jason is what Beverly is constantly trying to forget about.
As for Beverly herself, her constant diva attitude and posturing get remarkably tiring.
But perhaps the worst part of this stinker is the direction. Never before has a movie seemed so ill-paced. The characters are supposed to age approximately 20 years from beginning to end, but the only way you could ever know is that they bring in a new, taller kid to play Jason for a few minutes. Beverly looks the same, except when she’s vamped up in bad ’80s makeup at the end, and they just give Ray some bad teeth to show that he’s let himself go in his old age.
But beyond the makeup issues, the movie jumps around like a four-year-old on a Hershey’s binge. It’s all over the place, keeping no sense of consistency. Huge amounts of time are spent on certain periods, and others are swept over in a few minutes. Bad character development ensues.
But of course, this is one of those movies that I’ve already heard dozens of female friends say that they really want to see. So guys, here’s a tip: Go ahead and see this with your girlfriends.
As for everyone else, don’t even bother. There are much better movies, and chick flicks, around.
