We all seem to take the things our parents tell us for granted. As I approach graduation in a few semesters, I’m just realizing how wise my parents were and how they’ve helped me grow as an individual.

That is what they’re there for, after all. To be honest about what you need and should do. To care enough to correct your mistakes or figure out a plan B. To love you unconditionally from the beginning of your existence.

Sure, we all complain about what our parents say, and sometimes ignore their wisdom. I was a know-it-all as a kid, but losing my dad sent me a wake-up call.

Oct. 6 marks the four-year anniversary of his death. He didn’t get to see the wise, woman I’ve become. But without him, I don’t know how I could have gotten here.

During our time together we had many talks about me going to college and his college days at University of Michigan. He worked hard to prepare me for college. I can remember him telling me he was going to get me a new car for graduation.

“In the meantime you just keep driving that 1981 Camaro,” which at the time had a small hole in the passenger-side floor.

My father and I studied math for hours, and it became my strongest subject. He would let me sit behind my books for hours before he would rescue me from those horrible algebra and geometry problems. I went from being a C-plus student in math to an all-A student.

My dad never allowed me to settle for less. He would often remind me I had to work twice as hard to make it. Occasionally I would feel his wrath, especially if my grades slipped or I was irresponsible about something. But as an architect, he knew how to design solid foundations and he definitely built a strong foundation in me.

He would push hard at times, but that was only to make be better. Always demanding more of me than I was ready to give. Somehow he knew there was a smaller version of himself in me. He convinced me I could do anything.

And he helped me try to reach every goal.

I remember when I was a small child, we experimented a lot to find my niche. When I was five he bought me a guitar because I loved Elvis Presley - I’m still a fan of the king. Although I never became very good at playing it, that guitar fostered my love for music, which grew into writing my own R & B and hip-hop songs.

After the music phase, I decided I wanted to become a writer and my dad was there to support me again - he bought a typewriter. Expression, he noticed, was one of my greatest strengths. But once he knew what I was good at, that’s when the hard work began.

I have to be honest, there were times I wasn’t utilizing my father’s advice. But now when I get frustrated about my progress in class or life, I hear that voice saying, “You’ve got to work, work and work. And when your done you work some more.”

I never imagined my dad not being around to guide me. I wondered how I would make it in this race we call life - I say race because I was often getting a lecture from him like he was a coach. Now I’m my own coach, always pushing myself to get better. That’s right, Pops, no mediocrity for your girl.

I can remember visiting him in the hospital during his last days. He asked how school was and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I didn’t have classes that term. But when I paused to answer, he knew, somehow, I was not in school. There was no lecture this time, and I promised to be back the next semester.

The next few days would change my life. My father died from kidney failure two days later. My best friend was gone.

Who would give me advice now? That moment, I promised myself I would graduate as expected.

This is were my solo journey began. Everything my dad taught me would become my survival kit for life. The first thing I did was to transfer from a junior college in Flint to MSU. Mission one accomplished. Although my dad was a Michigan man, he’s proud of me anyway.

When I arrived at MSU I knew I was in the right place. I knew I could make it. Although college has been tough, nothing was tougher than my dad’s wrath and nothing was sweeter than his encouraging words. If I had believed in myself as much as he did I would have never disappointed either of us that day in the hospital.

As young people we assume we know everything. Well guess what? We don’t know half of what we will know when we become parents. No, parents aren’t perfect and they may not know it all. But don’t take for granted the wisdom that’s available, when its available.

One day, like me, you will no longer have the opportunity to talk with your parents. So do it now.

The advice your parents give can take you a long way.

Tanee Elston is a State News intern. She can be reached at elstonta@msu.edu.