Most of us have faced survival situations as harrowing as the office karaoke party or that darn mustard stain on a new T-shirt.
But the “Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook” and its travel guide sequel can teach you a thing or two about surviving a riot - leave the country.
Or controlling a wayward camel - don’t pull back the reigns.
Or escaping killer bees - run away.
Need to give an emergency tracheotomy?
No problem.
Get yourself a razor blade or sharp knife, grab a straw and turn to page 88. And don’t worry about germs, “Infection is the least of your worries at this point,” the book advises.
And although co-author David Borgenicht strongly suggests using the guide for entertainment purposes, he’s received feedback from those who claim it saved lives.
“An e-mail from a woman in California said that, as a result of reading the first book, she was able to remember how to avoid cougars,” Borgenicht said. “She stood her ground, and she and her daughter were able to get away.”
Authors Borgenicht and Joshua Piven have collectively been stuck in subway tunnels, mugged, stowed away on an Amtrak and chased by knife-happy motorcycle bandits.
Building on those experiences, the pair interviewed dozens of experts to hone their tips, from Navy Seals to stunt men.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is a little yellow guide book that’s so logical, it’s funny. Published in 1999, it remained on the New York Times’ Bestseller List for 14 weeks and lists 40 scenarios with step-by-step instructions on how to survive them.
Its sequel, “The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel” (2001) is its red fraternal twin.
The newest edition schools a reader with survival advice on leeches, high-rise hotel fires and 42 other travel-related scenarios. Also included are tips on packing, flying, foreign emergency phrases and gestures to avoid.
Borgenicht, 32, owns and operates a publishing company in Philadelphia.
He said his favorite survival scenario is that concerning lopped-off appendages.
“In a sick way my favorite advice is on how to treat a severed limb,” Borgenicht said. “Sure, it has little to do with travel, but it’s one of my fears that I’ll be at home and get my arm caught in a wood chipper.
“Now I can quickly pack my appendages on ice, tie off the arteries and get to the hospital within three hours.”
Piven, 30, is a computer journalist. Sponsored by Immodium AD, the two are currently touring the country to promote the travel edition.
“It’s definitely a guy gift,” Piven said of the guides. “But the appeal is universal.”
The book series will also be taking its popularity to TV where it will join the ranks of reality survival TV. “Worst-Case Scenario: The TV series” debuts in January on TBS.
“It’s not a game show like ‘Survivor’ or ‘Fear Factor’,” Borgenicht said. “It’s a little of ‘That’s Incredible’ and ‘Ripley’s Believe it or Not’ pumped full of adrenaline. “And it’s how-to, like the book.”
Because the show won’t offer cash prizes, Borgenicht said he’s banking on the needs of regular folk to get on television.
“Sometimes regular people are willing to do anything to get on television, so why not throw them into an alligator pit?” he said. “But at the core, it will be real information on how to survive these situations.”
Piven and Borgenicht’s how-to advice can be absorbed for later use from www.worstcasescenarios.com, and a 2002 calendar will feature a worst-case scenario for every week. New scenarios include “How to survive a bar fight.”
“For that one, the advice we give is never back yourself into the corner, and you never want to hit someone first,” Piven said. “Realize that there are legal implications for hitting someone with a mug.
The overall message of the guides can be summed up as a hybrid Boy Scout motto: “Be prepared”- for everything to go wrong.
Parks and recreation junior Katie Grenadier is president of MSU Outing Club. She deals with surviving techniques when she forays into the wilderness.
“I was backpacking in Colorado and forgot everything,” she said. “Then my stove didn’t work. I was by myself, so it was pretty scary but just for a night. And I survived pretty well.”
Luckily there were no cougars lurking. If there were, she could have opened her coat wide to make herself appear bigger and backed away slowly.
Because running and screaming, according to the handbook, would have made the situation much worse.
