Well, I read John La Fleur’s column (“Institution of marriage is for heterosexuals,” SN 4/20), and now I have seen the light. It is our duty to go forth and multiply! Women, spread your legs and let the fecundity gush forth! Men, gird your loins and spread your seed far and wide! Couples everywhere, rush to the church lest your children be raised in unsafe relationships (abuser, addict and drunk rates available). Breed! Breed my lovelies! Breed!

Rush from household to household searching for the demons of an infertile marriage. Rip from them their birth control and spread fertility drugs like candy to the wind. No more shall love dictate our lives! Cruel, uncaring love. What does it know? Nothing!

Let the joy of mass production fill our lives. Let us hear the laughter, cries and screams of children from every household. Pay you not mind to matters of overpopulation. Fie on that! Quickly my disciples, rush out to the chapels! Men, seek you out the woman with childbearing hips. Women, seek you out the man with mobile sperm. The end is near, soon you will be left cold and alone in your love-filled unhappiness.

Katie Williams
history senior