Don’t get the wrong idea. Any movie with cheerleaders robbing a bank, persistent tampon jokes and a Conan O’Brien running gag is probably going to be bad.
But “Sugar & Spice” is charming, in a charmless sort of way. It intends to be a “Heathers”-style satire on media violence, but its laughs only produce awkward cringes.
It’s a mostly sincere effort that turns into a laughably embarrassing mess.
The story has great promise for both impressionable young satirists and pubescent boys of any age. The members of Lincoln High School’s cheerleader squad, The Mastermind, The Virgin, The Stalker, The Rebel and The Brain, are the hottest girls in school.
They’re inseparable, until the equally hot and popular Jack (James Marsden), captain of the football team, gets Diane (Marley Shelton), The Mastermind, pregnant.
So Jack and Diane are thrown out of their homes and into a life of poverty. They’re forced to juggle high school, extracurricular activities and holding down part-time jobs.
But first-time director Francine McDougall manages to dilute the sad fact of American teenage pregnancy with jokes about how sexy Jesus Christ looks on the cross.
And the damaging stereotypes of high school life? A random explanation of orgasmic horseback riding flies in the face of that.
So how can an expecting mother of twins hope to support her family? By pulling off the biggest bank heist since “Point Break,” of course.
Diane gathers her cheerleader pals back together to watch such classics as “Heat,” “Reservoir Dogs” and “Dog Day Afternoon” to formulate their plan.
That’s about as biting as “Sugar & Spice” gets.
Whatever social commentary is coming from girls robbing banks because they saw it in the movies gets lost.
The characters are never drawn deeper than their namesake stereotypes - the writers even manage to get in a few jabs at geeks and homosexuals.
The laughs are scattershot at best, and there’s almost nothing to hold the plot together.
That is, except for the girls themselves. Like its predecessors “Spice World” and “Coyote Ugly,” this movie succeeds best when it resembles nothing more than soft porn.
The girls are often seen frolicking around in their pajamas or bras and panties, and the breast and booty shots in the cheerleading sequences are enough to make any boy whistle.
As long as he can get those statutory laws out of his head.
But the film is disguised as a comedy - and it’s usually tasteless at that.
Jokes meant for parody find themselves in the wrong context and are more irresponsible than anything else.
When the girls finally rob the bank, they walk in slow motion, backed by an upbeat soundtrack á la “Reservoir Dogs.” Imitation or parody? It’s hard to tell.
“Sugar & Spice” isn’t completely beyond redemption, though.
The film is not funny, sure, but its missteps are real comic gold. The obstetrician’s office that Diane goes to, for instance, is decorated in egg-printed wallpaper.
The film straddles the line between utterly unenjoyable and totally camp. So please, enjoy its badness.
