Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Washed-up celebs don't need reality TV shows

We're living in a crazy world these days where Flavor Flav, formerly of Public Enemy fame, is the newest "Bachelor;" Ashley Parker Angel (who?) used-to-be heartthrob now washed-up boy band member, has his own reality show; and Hulk Hogan shows us how to raise a family.

Since when did B- and C-list celebrities think it's cool to flaunt their lives as if their careers never faded? VH1 is the largest follower in this trend. They advertise their array of reality shows as "Celebreality" and say not all reality is created equal. I'm not sure what's worse — becoming famous because you're a nobody who happened to appear on a reality show or a has-been who is famous again because of a "Celebreality" show.

I think it all started with "The Surreal Life" on VH1. The first cast featured long-forgotten celebrities MC Hammer and Corey Feldman among others. The show quickly caught on and is now in its fifth season. For some reason people are obsessed with celebrities from the '80s and '90s.

"The Surreal Life" has become increasingly worse through the seasons as VH1 has fewer somewhat famous celebrities left to choose from. They're now forced to pick people most of us have never even heard of — perhaps we've seen their faces somewhere years ago — but there's no way we would recognize a name. Who had seriously heard of British supermodel Caprice prior to her stint on "The Surreal Life" season five? No one I know.

The show has even spawned several spin-offs such as "My Fair Brady," "Strange Love" and "The Flavor of Love." None of these celebrities would be making much money right now if it wasn't for VH1.

And no one really cares about Danny Bonaduce and his personal problems in "Breaking Bonaduce." I bet they just love to see him make a fool out of himself.

Then there are the repeat offenders such as Trishelle Cannatella who began making the rounds in the reality TV circuit with "The Real World: Las Vegas." She has been on numerous reality TV shows since her debut including several "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" shows, "The Surreal Life" and the E! network's "Kill Reality."

Cannatella isn't even a "real" celebrity — she's simply a reality TV star.

I suppose this is OK for viewers who like to know every mundane detail in these past celebrities' lives, but I prefer real programming.

I used to be a reality TV junkie — I might still be according to some definitions — but I'm starting to get really frustrated when I turn on the TV after work and can't find anything to watch other than reality TV.

I've stopped caring about which new fat celebrity I've never heard of is going to appear on "Celebrity Fit Club," whether Flavor Flav will meet the woman of his dreams through a reality show or whether Bai Ling can sing karaoke.

MTV isn't much better with their reality programming. But at least the network uses somewhat still famous celebrities. Their thing is famous couples. I'll admit, I was addicted to "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica" and even "Meet the Barkers" for a while. But now, I couldn't care less whether Shanna Barker is having another baby or Travis Barker is on the road with the Warped Tour.

Although one would think the trend is disappearing as more and more people begin to lose interest, I fear it's only growing. Reality TV has never really bothered me in the past, but I can tell it's become a problem when all I can expect when I turn on the TV is another celebrity from my childhood embarrassing themselves on camera to earn a few bucks.

Benita Mehta is the MS&U/lowdown editor. Tell her what washed-up celebrity you think should be on reality TV next at mehtaben@msu.edu.

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