College students live double lives. In our respective college towns, we're scholars, slackers, socialites or some combination of the above. But at home, we'll always be the baby.

Even if you're not the baby of the family, you were a baby in your family's eyes at some point or another. It doesn't matter how much you've developed as an adult — they'd cradle you in your arms if they had the chance.

Tell me this isn't a familiar scenario: You're sitting down to dinner with your entire family. The host or hostess goes around the table asking for everyone's drink preferences. "Wine or champagne? Wine or champagne?" And then, when they get to you, it's always "Coke or orange juice?"

Growing up, I always felt like such an outcast just for being the baby in my family. And I thought that once I became legal, that perception would change.

I learned this past Thanksgiving that I'm still the young one — even though I have two relatives younger than me. I asked for a glass of wine to go with my spread of turkey, macaroni and other holiday delicacies, and instantly was met with dismay. I'm old enough to drink, and have been for a while, but the thought of me consuming alcohol still raised some red flags among my relatives.

It's not that they're afraid of me getting too drunk — it's just that drinking legally is just one of the many signs of growing up. They're not ready for that yet. So here's where we come back to how, at times, kids our age have two identities. The question then becomes, who forces us to have this identity crisis: our loved ones or ourselves?

Do your parents have access to your Facebook profile? Obviously not. Half of us are wasted out of our minds or still sporting that naughty Halloween costume in our profile pictures — or both. So we choose not to give them access, or not even tell them about Facebook.

Would you tell your parents how late you stayed up writing that last-minute paper? Nope, because they'd worry you to death about how much sleep you're losing and how it's bad for your health. So we don't tell them about that all-nighter.

Part of it might be that our parents don't want us to grow up because they don't think we're ready to grow up. And they can tell we're not ready because we know that we're not ready — which is why we still dress up for Halloween and procrastinate on our homework. Because let's face it — that kind of stuff won't fly after graduation.

Until people actually do "grow up," it's OK to play the double-life game for a while. To be honest, it's fun having a secret identity. But it can't last forever.

How long to keep playing the game is another issue. For some, a college degree might indicate "grown-up" status. For others, it might be marriage, the birth of a child or the purchase of a house.

Personally, I am not looking forward to letting go of my college lifestyle. I am not ready for a mortgage. And when — no, if — I have kids, I know they'll be playing the same double-life game, too.

But sooner or later, we'll have to change our perception of ourselves if we want our parents' perception to change.

Aaron Foley is the State News MS&U editor. Tell him how your family perceives you at foleyaar@msu.edu.