Helen Dalton was a 36-year-old mother of two.
But instead of watching over her children, a “silent silhouette” memorial to her watches over students entering Mason Hall.
Dalton, a Grand Rapids resident, was shot and killed by her boyfriend last year. He is serving 24 to 45 years in jail for second-degree murder.
A life-size wooden memorial statue of Dalton was built by MSU Safe Place, the on-campus, 12-bed, 30-day domestic violence shelter. She is one of about 32,000 women killed during an act of domestic violence since 1976, the U.S. Department of Justice reported.
“One of the hardest things is dealing with this issue alone,” said Holly Rosen, director of MSU Safe Place. “A lot of women and men are in abusive relationships and don’t even realize it.”
On a college campus, many freshman students coming out of high school relationships may experience violence or stalking, Rosen said.
A 1998 Department of Justice survey said at least 960,000 incidents of violence are made against former spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends every year.
“When you end a relationship that’s the most dangerous time,” Rosen said.
“That’s when you have fatalities. In any relationship, both sides have problems. The trouble is when you start believing that everything is your fault and your problem.”
Rosen said she’s hoping to increase knowledge during Domestic Violence Awareness Month through campus activities such as movies, fund-raisers and presentations.
Elementary education senior Jamie Steele, director of Olin Health Center’s In Your Face Reality Troupe, said the acting group’s skits always include a section about dating violence - but students have been more sensitive to it lately.
Even the students acting in the skit have a hard time with it, she said.
“During our skits people tend to shy up and start laughing just because they don’t know what else to do,” Steele said. “It’s a good way to use drama as education.”
Other groups, such as the MSU Men’s Forum, are trying to stop domestic violence at its root by discussing problems instead of lashing out.
“We’re taught if somebody hurts us, we’ll hurt him back,” said Jim Hines, administrative coordinator for The Listening Ear’s Sexual Assault Counseling program and forum member.
“If nobody teaches you otherwise, you do it. Even those of us who aren’t rapists and aren’t abusive - we still have those attitudes.”
But abuser isn’t the only relationship men have with domestic violence.
The Department of Justice said at least 8 percent of reported cases are against men, but in more than 10 years of existence, MSU Safe Place has housed only two men.
“There’s a great deal of shame and humiliation that comes with saying ‘Hey, I’m a victim. I’m being abused,’” Hines said. “A lot of it is just not knowing how to respond. Talking about it is a reality check. It’s normal to feel isolated, but you have to make that call and take it from there.”
For more information, call MSU Safe Place at (517)355-1100.
